All right here it goes. First a little background on me. I have been playing poker for about 6 years. I was playing before the poker explosion, I remember watching the beginning wsop coverage on espn. Started on pokerroom with a 25 dollar deposit. This was before micro limits were on the sites. Sat right down at a 25 dollar NL table and haven't looked back ... until now. I have read all the books, name it, I read it. I watched rounders, thought I was gonna make it big. Played with numerous BTPers, I absolutely love the site. Gained more knowledge from here than anywhere and enjoyed the community help. I never really have posted, just read and used the knowledge on the tables. Fell in love with TW's journal, laughed so hard. Really tried to apply icemans ideas on PT and poker playing. Anyways I turned that 25 dollars into about 10000. Spent some, and did the usual disastrous non-bankroll management seminar. Sat down at 4 600 nl tables didn't realize the variance could and would kill me. A few months ago I had 1000 left and decided to return to form. Fired up PT, Gametime+, started up a new database, turned on my music and focused on three tables of 50 NL. That brings us to now ... I just deposited my last 150 dollars into Holdem Poker today. After taking weeks off feeling calm, I started again. I even have a bonus for myself to clear. I am now going to start posting, because I can't figure it out anymore. I am just not having fun, I read about the variance, the bad beats, the downswings. Never really had to deal with it myself. I hope I just have something wrong with my game. Because right now it just feels like the game has changed or something. Anyway I decided to start with 10 nl, with two tables. I played for 3.88 hours tonight and lost 36.70. I am gonna post some hands for help, I was thinking of posting big losers and winners, but any ideas are welcome. Hands to follow!

Thanks Guys,

TableTiger1