After a rough couple of sessions I think I have finally figured it out. The keys to playing Limit poker on the internet and now I will impart my wisdom on the rest of you.

All hand examples are from today's session.

The Call Guy Always Wins
Do NOT try to bluff him. He will call. Even if your hand is better then his, he will call you down and at some point in the hand HE WILL HIT! When one of these creatures latches onto you, do NOT become aggressive, it will just make things worse. The best thing to do is just quit. The sites must make calling guy happy in order to keep him playing and collecting rake.
Example: (Villain 43/13/42)
http://www.pokerhand.org/?805980

Your Middle Pairs Are Never Good
Don't even bother with 8's, 9's, and 10's. The flop will always be at least 2 over-cards and 2 suited and connected. Sometimes 3 and 3. Just get rid of this garbage preflop. Even against the loosest of opponets.
Examples:
http://www.pokerhand.org/?805991
http://www.pokerhand.org/?806008
http://www.pokerhand.org/?806045
Exception: Your pair may be good against a really super-duper big idiot
http://www.pokerhand.org/?806055

Whenever You Dominate An Opponent Before The Turn, You Are Dead
This rule is double effective when you hit top pair or trips on the flop and hold a better kicker than your opponent. They will hit their kicker at some point and cost you a small fortune, but also applies if you hold something like AK and opponent has AJ. Subsequently, AJ is the best holding you can have preflop.
Examples:
http://www.pokerhand.org/?806006
http://www.pokerhand.org/?806029

Your Aces (and big pairs) Are No Good vs Middle to Small Suited Connectors
There is a reason they say that this is the best hand to have against big pairs. Your Aces can't beat them. If you suspect you may be up against this type of hand, fold preflop or check/fold the flop. Get rid of your garbage.
Example:
http://www.pokerhand.org/?806015
Exception: When you flop a set, your big pair may be good. Even then, procede with caution.
http://www.pokerhand.org/?806039
http://www.pokerhand.org/?806057

AK Is No Good Either, Fold Pre-flop
If you are determined to play this hand, you are going to cost youself money. The best way to handle this hand is like you would a dead rat. Put on a pair of gloves, pick up while holding away from the body, and dispose of.
Example: (Villain was 37/8/40)
http://www.pokerhand.org/?806037
http://www.pokerhand.org/?806063 (Applies to dominated hands rule as well)


Don't Even Try It, The Big Blind Is Always Good
No matter what you have preflop, by the end of the hand, the Big Blind will almost always have the best hand.
Exception: When the Big Blind holds a dominating hand to start off with. See 3rd Rule.
Examples:
http://www.pokerhand.org/?806023
http://www.pokerhand.org/?806066

Procede With Caution With Straights and Flushes
The board can, and usually WILL, pair on the end.
Exception: When YOU have a set.


So how do you play winning Limit Poker then? Isn't it obvious?
1 - Try to play every hand out of the big blind.
2 - If #1 is not possible, wait for AJ and ATTACK!!


No doubt this belongs in another part of the forum, but since the Limit section isn't the most active place on the planet, I thought you guys might enjoy a little sarcastic humor.

Maybe we can colaborate and really get a good guide out there.

Let me add a few things:

Most flops will miss YOUR hands, not most hands. Chances are YOUR hands like big aces (AK, AKs, AQs, AJs) for example will miss more often than not but usually pair your opponents rag kicker they hold along with an A. When the do hit it will more often than not be an illusion, as the board will certianly provide a flush draw for your opponent roughly 87% of the time. An open ended straight draw which will hit rougly 73% of the time. And a gutshot or runner runner draw only when you've taken a beating during a current session. (please note an opponent holding a small pocket pair will often make a set on the turn or river a fairly high percentage of the time as well)

Premium Pocket Pairs
Pocket aces are sketchy at best. After the flop pray that they're good and hold up.

Pocket kings are a useless hand and perhaps my least favorite, I'm currently woking on a theory about just mucking them pre flop. Whenever you are dealt them an opponent WILL have Ax in his hand and you will see an A on the flop 80% of the time. Or it will fall on the river the remaining 20% and your opponents will not fold any A dealt to them. This also applies to pocket queens as well, although you can now figure the same rules for pocket kings but factor in that either an A or K will follow the same rules, and therefore actually double the odds that you'll lose. Play these only for set value EVEN HEADS UP, or check all the way to the river to lose the least.

Pocket Jacks and lower
Are just as good as pocket 2's, only play when you're drunk or at a limit where the losses won't affect you. (see MTpaid's post about middle pairs)

Well sets aren't all that great either as illustrated here....again with pocket kings.

This guy actually went crazy with a pocket pair of 9's against my KQ on a Q high board.

Holdem Limit $1/$2
[Feb 8 10:59 pm:12] : DasHammer is the dealer.
[Feb 8 10:59 pm:13] : Retired LT posted small blind.
[Feb 8 10:59 pm:13] : chipstealer posted big blind.
[Feb 8 10:59 pm:13] : Game [272422] started with 6 players.
[Feb 8 10:59 pm:13] : Dealing Hole Cards.
[Feb 8 10:59 pm:13] : Seat 2 : Hero has
[Feb 8 10:59 pm:15] : 97DELSOL called $1
[Feb 8 10:59 pm:16] : magic8ballz called $1 and raised $1
[Feb 8 10:59 pm:17] : Hero called $2 and raised $1
[Feb 8 10:59 pm:22] : DasHammer folded.
[Feb 8 10:59 pm:24] : Retired LT folded.
[Feb 8 10:59 pm:28] : chipstealer folded.
[Feb 8 10:59 pm:29] : 97DELSOL folded.
[Feb 8 10:59 pm:32] : magic8ballz called $1
[Feb 8 10:59 pm:33] : Dealing flop.
[Feb 8 10:59 pm:33] : Board cards
[Feb 8 10:59 pm:34] : magic8ballz bet $1
[Feb 8 10:59 pm:36] : Hero called $1 and raised $1
[Feb 8 10:59 pm:37] : magic8ballz called $1
[Feb 8 10:59 pm:38] : Dealing turn.
[Feb 8 10:59 pm:38] : Board cards
[Feb 8 10:59 pm:39] : magic8ballz checked.
[Feb 8 10:59 pm:41] : Hero bet $2
[Feb 8 10:59 pm:42] : magic8ballz called $2 and raised $2
[Feb 8 10:59 pm:43] : Hero called $2
[Feb 8 10:59 pm:44] : Dealing river.
[Feb 8 10:59 pm:44] : Board cards
[Feb 8 10:59 pm:45] : magic8ballz bet $2
[Feb 8 10:59 pm:46] : Hero called $2
[Feb 8 10:59 pm:48] : Showdown!
[Feb 8 10:59 pm:48] : Seat 2 : Hero has Ks Kc
[Feb 8 10:59 pm:49] : Seat 1 : magic8ballz has Jh Qh
[Feb 8 10:59 pm:49] : magic8ballz has Flush QJ943
[Feb 8 10:59 pm:49] : magic8ballz wins $23.50 with Flush QJ943
[Feb 8 10:59 pm:58] : Hand is over.

Seriously I phucking hate pocket kings. 30K hands and they are still behing AA and QQ in terms of money won.

And here same phucking session


Holdem Limit $1/$2

[Feb 8 11:11 pm:14] : tik-hal is the dealer.
[Feb 8 11:11 pm:15] : Retired LT posted small blind.
[Feb 8 11:11 pm:15] : HVACANDY posted big blind.
[Feb 8 11:11 pm:15] : Game [89047] started with 6 players.
[Feb 8 11:11 pm:15] : Dealing Hole Cards.
[Feb 8 11:11 pm:15] : Seat 6 : Hero has
[Feb 8 11:11 pm:17] : Hero called $1 and raised $1
[Feb 8 11:11 pm:19] : kfc44 folded.
[Feb 8 11:11 pm:21] : Mister Nuts folded.
[Feb 8 11:11 pm:24] : tik-hal called $2
[Feb 8 11:11 pm:35] : Retired LT folded.
[Feb 8 11:11 pm:36] : HVACANDY called $1
[Feb 8 11:11 pm:37] : Dealing flop.
[Feb 8 11:11 pm:37] : Board cards
[Feb 8 11:11 pm:40] : HVACANDY checked.
[Feb 8 11:11 pm:42] : Hero bet $1
[Feb 8 11:11 pm:44] : tik-hal called $1 and raised $1
[Feb 8 11:11 pm:45] : HVACANDY called $2
[Feb 8 11:11 pm:46] : Hero folded.
[Feb 8 11:11 pm:46] : Dealing turn.
[Feb 8 11:11 pm:46] : Board cards
[Feb 8 11:11 pm:48] : HVACANDY checked.
[Feb 8 11:11 pm:50] : tik-hal bet $2
[Feb 8 11:11 pm:51] : HVACANDY called $2
[Feb 8 11:11 pm:52] : Dealing river.
[Feb 8 11:11 pm:52] : Board cards
[Feb 8 11:11 pm:54] : HVACANDY bet $2
[Feb 8 11:12 pm:02] : tik-hal folded.
[Feb 8 11:12 pm:03] : HVACANDY wins $14.75 as the last player standing
[Feb 8 11:12 pm:05] : Hand is over.

For illustration purposes I will provide data to support my theory that pocket kings are in fact number 3 in terms of premium hands. I'm still debating on whether ot not pocket queens are in fact the best pocket pair you can have.

As you can see pocket kings do in fact win less that the 2 best stating hands in limit poker.

Sorted by money won....apparently pocket 6's and 9's are big hands as well.

I've actually been playing more or less like this on wpx with that $30 i randomly found. Results from .5/1 and 1/2

LOL at KK tonight. Now down to 7th. AQo is 2nd, KQo is 3rd

http://www.pokerhand.org/?809554

LOL at +0.18 winrate at 1/2 over 16,129 hands.

LL at software glitch on the river allowing the rare river resuck from the BB

http://www.pokerhand.org/?809587

LOL at bigger idiots than me who allow me to get even for those KK hands.
http://www.pokerhand.org/?809590