Had a "mjeh" session where I finished down a bit more than a buyin after an hour and a half. Basically played three hands worth mentioning.
#1
Huge suckout by me.
I raise AA58s max in LP, both blinds calls and one of the cock-munching limpers call.
Flop comes Q97 with a flush-draw, BB puts his last 5bb in and cockmuncher raises max after thinking for a while. I have a note on him that he's a retard, playing retarded hands in a retardedly aggressive manner. Fuck it, I raise. He pushes his last chips in. We started with almost double stacks.
BB has QQ53r (Good preflop call, seriously!)
Cockmuncher has T992ds (nice limp/calling hand, seriously!)
Turn is a 2, river is a 6 and my 58 makes a straight. Up yours, dickwad.
Of course he starts whining, oblivious to the fact that maybe, just maybe, T992 is not the sort of hand you should be playing OOP to a big raise.
Bad news, this was at a $20 table
#2
Retard always wins
I have AQQT double suited and limp behind in LP with a ministack of $16. 6 players to the flop which comes AQ6 with a flush draw I don't have. Checked to me and I bet, now SB check/raises me and gets a caller, I am happily all-in. Not only because I am super short, but because check/raise will never have AA here. He's an overaggro retard and will raise any AA 100% of the time. Unfortunately, I've only seen him play twice and although he plays horribly both pre and post flop I saw him the first time with more than 14(!) buyins and he has almost 5 now. So he always wins.
Long story short... bigstack retard puts the other guy in on the
turn, retard has 48JT for the OESD and a club flush draw, other guy has 2357 so I'm looking good until the K hits on the river and retard scoops us all.
Really, he always wins.
#3
I should be so lucky
I'm at $83 and have AJT8 double suited UTG and limp it. 3 limpers then unknown in LP pots it. Blind calls and I know that if I call, the limpers behind me will probably follow. retard from last hand is behind me and will definetely call. I call, so do they, so SIX players put in $7.50 preflop, so almost $50 in the pot already.
Flop comes 468 with my nut flush draw. Fuck.
Checked to retard who thinks it is a good idea to fire $17 into this. Then another muppet pots it which means ~$100 and gets a caller and it is back to me. Fuck.
Pot is huge alrwady, we will most likely be 5 players all-in, I have the nut flush draw... but a made low is out so I am drawing to half the pot. Fuck it, I put the chips in. Retard pushes and muppet calls.
Ok, retard and cold caller has A2xx with no highs and muppet has 688Qr for top set. Turn is a 4 and river is a heart giving me the flush but of course the muppet with 688Q has already made a full house by then.
Haven't run the equity figures but hopefully I didn't make a post flop mistake, frankly, I just wanted a chance to get a HUGE stack to be able to break the retard. Since I lost, I felt it was time to quit instead.