So liek
I got a jarb again for a little while.

I was reading the 1000-pager book for A+ Certification and then I received a call from an unfamiliar number. The lady says she's from SourceView, a staffing agency somewhere in the middle of the US that I'm not registered with. She found my resume online and asked if I'd be interested in a two-day job helping a computer technician install printers in my area. The pay is $15/hr. Of course I said "yes" and had my first day on the job.

The technician's name is Dennis. He warned me there might not be much for me to do and I'd just be sitting around most of the time. He then added, "But if you need the money, come on over". This was a little unusual, but hey, I needed the money! He's not the one paying me, so it doesn't matter if I'm not doing much work.

Out of the four hours I worked today, I only did maybe 30 minutes total of actual work. The rest of the time I was sitting around sending text messages to friends, zoning out, and occasionally just watching him do the work I'm not legally allowed to do yet (installing and setting up the printers). Dennis tells me he has way too much work and his company BancTec only has two people doing these jobs now - there used to be five. While talking with him about his job, I demonstrated I understood the majority of what he was doing (it's pretty basic computer stuff really) and mentioned I'm working on getting A+ Certification. He tells me that's all you need for the job, then adds "You know enough to do my job already. Really." Isn't that swell?

So his company needs more workers and I am knowledgeable enough to do the work. Sounds promising! He showed me that with setting up the printers, you just follow the tech manual they give you step-by-step and adds that his company doesn't train you at all.

Anyways... at least up until Tuesday I'll be working as a "technician's assistant"! Woohooo!!

Dennis also mentioned he likes having someone to talk with while he works. I'm hoping he'll try to encourage the human resources department to keep me working with him

To spice up my journal a bit, I'll post some porn! Well, SAFE FOR WORK porn (don't ban me please):

I think I found an emoticon just for you.. No sexual LOLing or whatever.. for real..

i based it on your love of video games.. SF2 ftw etc.


Here goes....

(12:34:55 AM) Mekos King: am i slow for just now realizing
(12:35:03 AM) Mekos King: that ep9s SFW porn
(12:35:05 AM) Mekos King: is actually real porn?
(12:35:19 AM) Irish or Death: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
(12:35:38 AM) Irish or Death: fucking kill youself dood

Well that's the coolest faggot I ever seen.

I dunno how you guys are that interested in reading poker-related journals. Every post is like

"fugg check out this bad beat!"
I am sorry, I am unfamiliar with bad beats. Please shed some light.

"look at what this donk did!"
Again, I do not understand. What is a donk? I never see online players do plays like that. Please share more.

"I'm up 2 buy-ins today... I'm down 5 buy-ins tonight... this week I'm up 8 buy-ins... I lost all three coinflips today"

MAN THAT'S CRAZY!! I HAD NO IDEA THE SWINGS IN POKER WERE SO EXTREMEEEE!!!

"I like how I played this hand..."

*fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap* Man, you're awesome! *fap fap fap fap fap fap*

Very funny you guys. Trying to ban me and shit. It's me versus the mods and carebear crew I guess.

I've been frequenting 4chan lately. Like every meme originates from there! Some great flash material too!

Final Fantasy fans will dig this. It's a little quiet so you have to turn up the speakers a bit.

Sig test...

It didn't work right, you better change it back.

I was inspired by an article I read where someone posted a false ad stating she was submissive and wanted to find a man to dominate her. She received dozens of responses where the men would go into brutal detail describing what they'd do to her (some of them also had wifes) as well as including pics.

A few months ago I read a job description that I couldn't help but share with friends and laugh at (I also posted it here):

Young professional in search of personal assistant to help take care of personal errands. Ideal candidate is well organized, works well under pressure, able to meet deadlines, unattached, open minded and submissive. Personal assistant duties include, but are not limited to: paying bills, grocery shopping, picking up/dropping off dry cleaning, picking up lunch, preparing some dinners, making travel arrangements etc. This is NOT a full time job, but may become one with the right candidate. This is a per diem position. You are paid as needed. The positions pays $18 per hour with the opportunity to increase to $25 per hour. You will be paid on a weekly basis. Please submit photo with response. Those who respond without photo WILL NOT be considered.

So today I decided to repost the job description to see what types of responses I'd receive. I also created a new email account on Hotmail incase I felt like responding further to the responses (not that I'd ever hire anyone who responded, but rather to pull more information from them). I received four responses.

Due to the personal details enclosed, I will only provide screen-captures in private (even then, I have blanked out last names, addresses, and phone numbers).

#1
She used the wrong form of "your" so I may respond by telling her she's rejected on that basis. The more absurd the rejection reason, the better. On her resume her objective simply states, "Nanny". She fleshes out that her last three jobs were nannying.

#2
She is inconsistent with her capitalization (missed a capital I), included a doublespace before the word "responsible", typo'd "environments", and didn't include a resume (not that I really care). SHE FAILS! However, she is cute. I have a few ideas ruminating - one involving telling her the job listing is a joke and continuing depending on how she responds, the other rejecting her due to the many errors I listed.

#3
She did not post a picture like my job description required! She attached a resume and gave me a standard "I'm interested in X position with your company" response. Using my fresh email account (under the moniker Robert Saget - couldn't do Bob Saget as that would lead them to believe my post wasn't for realz) I sent her a response stating "The job description specifically mentioned those who do not include pictures will not be considered. Learn to read. -Robert Saget".

#4
This was a complaint email:

unattached, open minded, submissive,
photo mandatory ???

how PERSONAL an assistant is this ??
sound more like a job for a ...
in polite terms : kept woman, not an assistant to do your chores.
if someone is conscientious, detail oriented, thorough, and does the job you want , why do you care what they look like, if they are submissive, unattached etc.

I can't believe this stuff is allowed on craigslist...

here is your photo :

am i too much of a "dog" to get the job, or not cute enough of a "p...cat" either ???

nobody out there is that naive...

(she attached a picture of her dog and cat - both very cute)

----------
I responded with:

I have high standards for who I want to work for me. This is my money and I will spend it however I wish. Since you have responded to the listing you sound like you might be interested in this position. However, I still would need to see a personal picture to consider you (thank you for submitting the picture of your dog and cat - I also like obedient pets). Even then, we may have to work on your attitude.

Thank you for your interest.
Robert Saget

LOL.
Too much spare time?