I went out to one of the local Indian casinos last night. As has been usual lately, I ran up a good stack and then lost it when I got coolered and/or made a stupid play. 1/2 5 to come in 200 max, the players are actually kind of nitty and weak/tight, bluffs work all night long. Strange for a live game to have only 2 or 3 to a flop on most hands in a 9 handed game. I work my stack up to almost 1k, the only other player with a sizable stack has about 750. I three bet ATs from the button, he calls from the BB pot about 110 original raiser folds. Flop TT4, check bet pot call. At this point I should have figured out what was going on, but since I hate money I get all in on the turn. UGH. I hate when I make such a stupid play against a nit after building up a nice stack.

I also played in a 10r at the casino. It runs every Friday night, 5 tables 11 handed with alternates. I managed to drop $60 and go into the 2nd hour with the bare minimum after rebuy and addon. I lost a race late in the 2nd hour when I open shoved from CO with M ~ 5 with K9s, button calls with 88 and flops a set.

I've been playing a few of the $12 45 man and 180 man SNGs on Stars. Fun times.

Stars Sunday Million:

http://www.pokerhand.org/?1664719

Kill me now plz.

Epilogue:

I am done with poker as I have been playing it. I haven't been winning, and I haven't been enjoying it. Every suckout pisses me off. Life tilt. It's been going on since my mom died. Back in May I wazs closing in on $30k lifetime - not huge, but not bad. Today I sit at $18k lifetime. I run bad, which causes me to play bad, which causes me to lose. I'm done with it.

I've never enjoyed grinding. I really like playing tournaments and have had good success there, but I don't have the time to dedicate to tournaments. I very much enjoyed bonus whoring and especially casino whoring. Fuck you Bill Frist. Seriously, fuck you in your ear with a #2 pencil.

Em and I are opening up a new law practice on December 1. I simply will not have the time to dedicate to playing and to studying and to keep up with the drama (AP scandal, 2+2 daily dramabomb, etc., since soap operas are ghey and 2+2 isn't quite as much, amirite??) I need to be out and about drumming up business, which oddly enough includes playing poker live - I already have one solid contact, and am certain to meet others. The live poker scene here is surprisingly close knit. Anyhow, I need to do other things too to meet people and get out. I lived in a place that I hated for so long that now, when I live in a place of remarkable beauty, I need to remember to head out and enjoy it (went out today, sorry no pics, but we went here:



Anyhow, I am withdrawing all of my money from the online sites, and leaving just a few hundred $W on stars, plus my FPPs on various sites which I have never used, so I have several tens of thousands. I will still likely play a few times a week, but it will be for enjoyment and not because I need the money.

With my cashed out online roll, I am going to get totally outfitted for kayak fishing in the bays, ocean, and rivers around here. It will look something like this:



There is a group of guys around that fish year-round and I've always liked fishing and kayaking, why not put the two together?

So, a recap is in order I suppose: I played poker starting in January 2006 looking to make a couple thousand a month. I did so successfully for several months, until June/July 2007. Looking back, I'd say life tilt played a big role in my losing streak. I unexpectedly lost a parent, and as a direct result of that no longer needed the money every month. I think that is a bad combination, and my results show it. My best results in the last 2 years were in tournaments. I absolutely destroyed the 3r on absolute poker in the beginning of 2007. I had to stop playing it since I did not have the time to dedicate to playing 8 hours a night, and as Emma became more mobile and more in need of constant attention. I am perfectly capable of break-even LHE and LO8 play, which lends itself to bonus whoring (again fuck you frist). I never quite grasped NLHE - I can beat micro stakes, but I have had an amazingly bad run at live low limit NLHE (sample size is only 70 hours or so, and I have had very brutal beats and coolers in huge pots - but I have also stacked off 200BB with TPGK against an unknown and 250BB with AT on a TT4 board against a huge nit so there is def. some bad play involved too). When I go out to play live in the future here, the game is 1/2 5 to come in 200 max. I will not play more than $600 deep effective stacks in that game - just seems to be outside of my skill set considering recent history.

So that's it. I'm not sure what I will use this space for, if anything, in the near future. Perhaps pics of my yak and any catches I make. Perhaps if I pwn a FPP sat. to some land based event, I'll report here. Maybe I'll give trip reports of B&M play, which I expect to do once a week or so. But maybe not unless something remarkable comes up. I really feel that this journal has run its course. I am no longer an unemployed stay at home dad - I am now a small business owner. The life situation that this journal represented for me - the journal of a poker playing stay at home dad - has come and gone.

Thank you for all your help and for all your contributions to the community.

I will reserve the remainder of my thoughts, but I wanted to make sure that someone expressed thanks for what you have brought to BTP.

Hey GL in Humboldt man. Fishing and kayaking sounds nice.

Best of luck, and as Jus has said thank you for all that you've brought here.

Hope the business takes off for you and Em. And best wishes with the new bambino.
Pop by once in a while and we'll swap hunting and fishing lies.

Good luck ED. Thanks for your help and contributions to BTP.

I would like to join the chorus and say THANK YOU and GOOD LUCK and I very much enjoyed our mIRC talks (when i had mIRC open that is) and i really really wish that you will feel good and happy about whatever you will be doing as that is the key.. It seems like you found what you were looking for and it's time to build on that... thanks and good luck!
and obv. gogogogo

Let me be the first to say:


































tl;dr