I'm not sure if anyone other than Fathers would understand why or how this happened but I figure at the very least most of you will get a chuckle out of it. Please be kind in your responses as I am in a delicate state of mind right now considering suicide.
Other BTP Fathers, please feel free to post your own similar type incidents here. It would help oh so much to know that I am not the only one to have ever done something like this!
You yungins reading this, who will most assuredly be laughing at me before the end of this post, be warned, you too will some day be old. MUWAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!
On to my story/embarrassment.
Today after work I had my family meet me at the Rec Center for a little exercise. My oldest daughter (still only 13 and all athletic and doing very well in Judo so don't EVEN go there MVP) had been hinting that she didn't think I could probably run very fast (basically she thought I was a fat old slowpoke) and she was acting all cool about it as teenagers tend to do towards their parents. Well I had always been a really pretty fast runner (obviously in the past as you soon learn) over short distances up to 100 yards. I just plain "knew" that I was faster than she thought and most likely faster than her in fact. So my Father/Adult pride got the better of me and I decided to prove it to her on the running track upstairs at the Rec Center. 5 laps around that thing equals a mile I'm told, so Tammy (my wife) and I walked briskly for 4.5 laps while Teila (my daughter) jogged and walked. I was figuring that walking .9 miles would have me more than warmed up enough to do a little sprint race against "The Kid".
So, we get to the last straight away, I tell her to start jogging and that when I gave the word we would race for a short ways. I just knew she was in for a surprise and I would be back up on her shelf of things to be awed by. Which as any father will tell you, is like the best place in the world to be. LOL, OH MY GOD AM I AN IDIOT!!!!!
We jog for about 20 yards and then I said "OK, go". I did catch her by surprise a bit as I immediately took a lead on her. Then she started catching up. As she passed me, I'm like WTF?!
she can't be THAT fast, I decided to kick it into high gear like I always have been able to do in the past. So I started lift my knees a bit higher to pick up speed.... BANG! HAMSTRING GIVES WAY! Knee didn't come up high enough any more. The rubber tip of my shoe caught the floor and down I went at full speed landing right straight on my knee. Can you say TRAINWRECK?!!! Good thing there wasn't some geriatric lady up there getting her daily constitutional in and having me end her life by crushing!
As the rest of me hit the ground, my shorts I guess must have caught on the shiny surface of the wood floor and they stopped while I kept going another foot. So there I am, sprawled on the ground, writhing in a new type of pain like I have not experienced before (I've never actually pulled a hammy before, HOE-LEE CRAP they REALLY hurt bad!!!) and I'm laying there on my back in my T-shirt and Batman underoos (at least they weren't regular ol tidy whities. I think I actually would have won if I had been wearing the Speed Racer ones!) with my shorts down around my knees! Oh, I am just loving exercise time! Definitely coming back for more of this shit!!!!
I get my shorts pulled up pronto even though I feel like I'm dieing from a leg injury if that's even possible. After I compose myself for a minute or so (basically to let all the strangers on the track who happen to be around get out of there), I get helped up to a standing position and Tammy helped support me out to the car as I can barely walk on my own. To top it all off, my knee, by taking the brunt of the fall, if now also quite bruised, scraped and painful.
I've taken some Advil and put some Bengay type stuff called BioFreeze on it but it still seems to be stiffening up and getting worse. I won't know till morning if I can walk on it much or even stand on it long enough to go to work.
I just CAN'T believe I let my own stupid pride override my sensibilities and do something like this the first time out exercising after letting myself get so far out of shape!!!! Just plain asinine!!! I mean a lot of times, I actually dislike other people for their lack of intelligence when I see someone else do something THIS stupid. So the fact that I am the one who did it this time just really pisses me off to no end. Just a horrible decision on my part and it never should have happened. Never ever!!!!
Happy Ending:
I did get a consolation prize though for coming in 2nd, (I prefer to think of it as 2nd, not last.
) my kid did tell my wife later that I was a LOT faster than she thought I would be. She thought I would run like my wife.