Too silly! And now for something completely different...

My neighbor somehow managed to finish all his weed over the course of two days. Crazy guy. I've never seen someone smoke so much!

How much is "all"..? I mean, if it's a quarter of an ounce... BIG F****IN DEAL!!! If it's a quarter of a POUND, he's my new hero...

Okay, it must have been more than that! I tell ya man, I don't know this stuff! I know my legal intoxicating drugs! If a gram is equivalent to a shot of a wine cooler, he must have had the entire wine cooler.

He comes into my room at 4 p.m. asking what I'm up to. He's already been smoking. A couple hours later, he's taking more hits. Then when it approaches 10, he takes more hits (and I participate then).

I've never seen someone smoke weed so consistently. He tells me I need to watch out for him so he doesn't go overboard. He worries he's doing it too much lately.

I have an idea... take his stash, stick it in a nice, airtight Fedex package, and send it to my PO Box (actually my friends PO Box... Fuck if I'd have it sent to MINE!!!).. That way, he stays sober, and everyones happy...

Of course, instead of studying for my midterm tomorrow, I end up playing more poker! This time I didn't play like a moron. I barely made any mistakes and ended up 13 BB/100 at the end of the session. I needed that to remind me I don't suck at this game.

I'm really loving these short-handed games! There's this one guy I keep bumping into who is extremely LAGGY. I have him noted as "overplays the shit out of his hands". I especially love when he's at the table with a couple calling stations!

Party Poker 0.50/1 Hold'em (6 max, 6 handed)

Preflop: Hero is CO with , .
UTG calls, 1 fold, Hero raises, 2 folds, BB 3-bets, UTG calls, Hero caps, BB calls, UTG calls.

Flop: (12.50 SB) , , (3 players)
BB bets, UTG calls, Hero raises, BB 3-bets, UTG calls, Hero caps, BB calls, UTG calls.

Turn: (12.25 BB) (3 players)
BB bets, UTG calls, Hero raises, BB calls, UTG calls.

River: (18.25 BB) (3 players)
BB checks, UTG checks, Hero bets, BB calls, UTG calls.

Final Pot: 21.25 BB

Results in white below:
BB has Ah Tc (two pair, aces and nines).
UTG has 8h Kh (two pair, nines and eights).
Hero has Qc Ac (two pair, aces and nines).
Outcome: Hero wins 21.25 BB.

In most cases, I'd just call down from the turn. But not against people who massively overplay their hands!

As I mentioned a few posts back, two of my neighbors are huge into poker. Occasionally I'll be drinking some beers while watching them play some tourneys. One of them, John, is the classic weak-tighty. The other, Tom, is semi-loose and weak. When I watch them play, I'm simply amazed they can win in the long-run.

Whenever John or Tom have a hand they want to raise, they only minimum-raise it. Everytime they do that, I ask them what the hell they're doing. I've heard a few different reasons:

John
* He doesn't like his hand that much. If it doesn't connect with the flop, he wants to be able to get away from the flop cheaply. He commonly does this with low pocket pairs, and big cards.

* He doesn't want people to fold when he has a premium hand like QQ-AA.

* When you minimum-raise, more people call, making it a bigger pot when you connect.

Tom
* The loose players would call a 3 BB raise anyways, so it doesn't matter.

* He's trying to steal the blinds cheaply. He doesn't want to invest much to take down the blinds.

* Everyone else does it.

My biggest problem with minimum-raising is you are giving your opponents the correct odds to call with any two cards.

Blinds are 50/100
Folded to you in MP3. You minimum-raise to 200 with KJo.
There is now 350 [200 + 150 (the blinds)] in the pot.
The SB receives odds of 2.3:1 (350/150 to call)
The BB receives odds of 3.5:1 (350/100 to call)

Any random two undercards against KJo is only a 1.75:1 underdog. Both the SB and BB can profitably call here with any two cards. To win money from your opponents, you want to bet enough where calling would be a mistake. Plus, when you raise more you also have more folding equity.

As most of you know, I have almost exclusively been playing LHE the past few months. Occasionally I still pop up a few SNGs, but now I only play the turbos and PP SNGs (less chips, so people get knocked out quickly). I always remember how frustrating it is to play a SNG for an hour only to end up in fourth place, so I just stick with the faster pace ones. Lately I've completely altered my 3-way and heads-up game in SNGs.

* Months ago I used to be somewhat more picky with the cards I'd push with when I'm short-stacked. Now I just push any above average hand! I don't have time to wait for better hands when the blinds are creeping up and everyone's folding away.

* In nearly every case, I have less than 12 BBs when we're heads-up at the ridiculously high blinds. So any hand I play, I just push. None of this 2.5-3x BB raising crap. In almost every case, I'm not that big an underdog (except against the big pairs). I cannot afford to lose a 3rd of my stack when I completely miss the flop and am faced with an all-in bet. I might as well push for the fold equity, and so I can see all five cards with my hands.

* When heads-up, I defend my BB everytime when it's minimum raised. I remember picking up J4s in the BB. Donk minimum-raises me and I call. The flop comes T75. I check with the intention of raising all-in. He bets a small amount and I push. He folds showing me his random AX hand. Now that he bled all those chips and I scooped up the big pot, he's crippled. I have a 3:1 chip lead. I push every above average hand as usual, he folds a couple times, then calls with K5 when I have A4. A-high wins it and that's game!

My original approach to playing heads-up was pretty much straight from Volume 2 of Harrington's. What I neglected to consider was that heads-up section is dedicated to when both players have over 30BBs. There you can afford to play some actual poker. In these internet SNGs, you just keep pushing the small edges and hope to blind him away or win the all-in battle.

About an hour after I cleared Empire's $100 bonus, I cashed out. Since then I haven't played poker. It's been a few days now and I want to play it... but I have these STUPID FRIGGIN MID-TERMS!! I have been reading up more on the mathematical and theoretical parts of poker at least.

There's this concept/program/utility called ICM (Independent Chip Model) that shows you your "prize share equity" depending on your stack size. Alone that doesn't tell you much, but when you add in the calling or pushing range of your opponent, the hand you're calling or pushing with, and how many chips you'd win or lose in the various situations (fold, call and win, call and tie, call and lose), it gives you a good idea of whether you made a +EV push or call. Check it out and play around with it a little. There's a link to a tutorial near the bottom to get you started. You also will need a poker calculator such as Poker Stove to get the results. Anyhow... this is my journal right, I shouldn't be explaining this to you!

During boring lectures in classes I find myself writing out these calculations by hand with various hands and stack sizes. Some of the results are non-intuitive, but when you really think about them, they make sense. A very useful and interesting tool indeed!

My personal life has been most uninteresting lately. Lets see... I blacked out at a friend's house during a party, who also is my "mentor" at the campus radio station, so I've now earned the nickname "Blackout". And last weekend after some buddies of mine went to a lame frat party (god I hate those) we chilled in my apartment and smoked a bowl. We decided to watch Plan 9 From Outer Space, which was extremely amusing while high and drunk. I only mentioned that because my handle here is EscapePlan9 and all... but has nothing to do with the movie! It's in reference to the band Dillinger Escape Plan, damnit!

Right... something about poker... I'm starting to convince one of my neighbors how to play SNGs better. He's skeptical but says my advice "makes sense". All this talk with him about optimal SNG play and ICM calculations have spiked my interest in SNGs again. Hell, I've even been participating in the SNGs forum here again! Well fuck me and call me Charlie!

Actually, don't. My name is Derek, damnit! Blackout Derek... the first time I've ever blacked out. And I also had my first hangover the next day. Prior to then, I never had hangovers from drinking. I remember last Spring during some party I had six beers, some hookah action, and then downed 12 shots of Tequila straight from the bottle within the span of a minute, and I was fine! Sure, I woke up a little dizzy and felt somewhat drunk, but I didn't feel sick. Now the hangover... man... that was bad. I couldn't even drink the next two nights without remembering how that felt.

I have a mid-term and exam tomorrow in two classes. I should get to studying those now...

I feel absolutely miserable. The past week I haven't been able to sleep at regular hours. I end up staying awake until I am so thoroughly exhausted I can easily pass out. I've missed my past three classes because of this. And I'm not doing well in them.

This semester I'm doing worse academically than ever. I should probably start caring about my grades again. Instead I'm trying to enjoy my last year of college. I want to milk my college years for all its worth, ya know?

Right... and you can read my recent post in the Limit forum, my bonus clearing at AbsolutePoker is not going smoothly.

So in conclusion, I am losing in poker, I am losing in college, and I am losing in life.