This is quite a serious (or anyway it is meant to be) thread so I didn't want to post it in the "anything goes" forum. It is about the big picture and how to "make it work" for you, so I posted it in this bankroll management forum.
I've been playing poker for a few years now. I'm not losing but I've always (especially in the past) been somewhat of a "problem gambler" and my winnings and in particular my learning of the game have suffered from it. I've always set the goals high and while I wouidn't say I'm disappointed in myself, I am definately not all pleased.
Like every other good poker player I am trying to put in the hours and avoid playing when I'm having a bad day.The problem though, is that unlike everybody else, I'm having a bad day well.... maybe 5 days a week. And the typical pattern is that I sleep about 2 hours less than optimal due to insomnia every single night. So, on one side I want sooo bad to "make it", while on the other I am sooo limited due to the condition I am in. Usually I'm a zombie...
I was diagnosed with clin. depression a year ago. Basically it f*cks around with your mind. You can't sleep, you can only focus to some degree and it is hard to take it "nice and easy" when you time and time again gets interrupted by brief moments of extreme negativity, i.e. "playing this game is just is useless as myself" and soforth.
Basically I am just wondering if anybody here has got the same problem or similiar and have achieved success in poker and if so - how? Or is it just impossible? Playing poker seriously/semi-/professionally and suffering from mental illness is certainly a potentially dangerous mix but there are usually some exceptions to every rule...?!
I use a "stop loss" method in my poker software that I cannot control (and in that way the "bad" days won't have so much of an effect on my overall score).
I make detailed plans of when I am going to play and if I think I'll miss out on a night's sleep (happeens all the time) I try to decide in advance not to play the following day. Basically I'm cutting out piece after piece from my spare time and saying that "I won't play poker during this hours because of this or that". The only problem - at least that is what it feels like - is that not many hours remain. I can't expect to beat the game for a fair amount while only playing like 4 hours per week...
My future plan is to focus more on games where that extra little edge you gain from being totally alert (that is - the edge I never have) doesn't matter as much. Playing bonuses should be a good idea. Maybe learning FL Fullring instead of NL SH or PLO as is my game nowadays...
Well... this was just me ramblin' I hope to hear some advice from all you out there. It's hard climbing upwards with high ambitions. But maybe you have experience I can gain from or at least some kind words.