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HitmanXL's Evolution From Chimp To Chump To Champ - Live Poker Forums

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HitmanXL's Evolution From Chimp To Chump To Champ

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Postby Kuso » Mon Apr 03, 2006 12:46 pm

wwcrd?

"that basically sums up poker for me - 12" needle in the testicle." <nutkick> mvp
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Postby MVPSPORTS » Mon Apr 03, 2006 12:51 pm

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Postby Kuso » Mon Apr 03, 2006 12:56 pm

wwcrd?

"that basically sums up poker for me - 12" needle in the testicle." <nutkick> mvp
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Postby HitmanXL » Mon Apr 03, 2006 2:46 pm

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Postby Kuso » Mon Apr 03, 2006 2:54 pm

wwcrd?

"that basically sums up poker for me - 12" needle in the testicle." <nutkick> mvp
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Postby MVPSPORTS » Mon Apr 03, 2006 3:05 pm

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Postby Molina » Mon Apr 03, 2006 3:36 pm

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Postby HitmanXL » Mon Apr 03, 2006 3:37 pm

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Postby MVPSPORTS » Mon Apr 03, 2006 5:12 pm

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Postby MecosKing » Mon Apr 03, 2006 7:46 pm

Holy crap! I never noticed this journal before. Good god, this guy is one sick little monkey. Just the type-a-guy i need on here. Great.The typa dood where ill be like hey dood i fuck-ed a goat what about that?! HUH?!? He'll just be like 'yeah, well i haddan orgy with like 10 goats, IN A FESTERING POOL OF GOAT EXCREMENT WHILE MY GRANDPARENTS FILMED IT AND GOT IT ON, SO THERE! Bollocks i tell you. Bollocks, blast and damn and hell. Ah well, i guess its cool havin another dood on here that can truly appreciate the perfection...hell, who are we kidding, the divinity of a good, solid, dripping wet anal creampie, complete with red donut, and MVP Sniggering uncontrollably in the background, with a shit eating grin on his face. And (insert random BTPer name here) with that blank 'i-just-experienced-rufies-for-the-first-time' look on his....

Keep on writin poetry dood, or raps as they were... I prefer more formal poetry to raps, but whatever works, ya know? For me, i grw up with poetry, so an MVP ditty of mine might go a bit like this

On askin MVP about animal sex
"Well, goats are very tight,' he said 'but often stink more than i can stand.'
'Sheep', he said, dont smell as bad, 'but can't perform, i'll take my hand'
'Now dogs and cats cry way too much, and all to often, neighbors hear,'
'Best to muzzle them before you try and jam it up thier rear'
'Thats alot of trouble though, pigs are how i oft get off,
Ya just gotta sneakup onem while theyre swilling at thier trough,
And there are tricks that you can learn, he said. Like, this ones, not for newbs,
But you can actually fuck a pig and use the slop for lube!
But dont you try and fuck a pig that isnt eating--i know it seems you can,
But trust me, you dont want to lose your dick the same way as my old man....

Etc. etc. you get it.

ANyways keep on truckin dooooooooooooooooooooood...
NorthViewBTP: poor old ED
NorthViewBTP: from gun totin beer swiller
NorthViewBTP: to limp wristed defender of fagdom
NorthViewBTP: ALL THINGS TO ALL MEN
NorthViewBTP: IS THE SAME AS NO THINGS TO ANY MAN
--------------------
Mekos King: NV ignoring
Jimmy BTP: he's ignoring me too
Jimmy BTP: obv fell asleep in his colostomy bag
Jimmy BTP: running shite everywhere
---------
neelguru: I gave up politics when I was 6
neelguru: Im dedicating the rest of my life to getting unstuck
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Juffins FTW
 
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Postby MVPSPORTS » Mon Apr 03, 2006 8:09 pm

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Postby MecosKing » Mon Apr 03, 2006 8:17 pm

NorthViewBTP: poor old ED
NorthViewBTP: from gun totin beer swiller
NorthViewBTP: to limp wristed defender of fagdom
NorthViewBTP: ALL THINGS TO ALL MEN
NorthViewBTP: IS THE SAME AS NO THINGS TO ANY MAN
--------------------
Mekos King: NV ignoring
Jimmy BTP: he's ignoring me too
Jimmy BTP: obv fell asleep in his colostomy bag
Jimmy BTP: running shite everywhere
---------
neelguru: I gave up politics when I was 6
neelguru: Im dedicating the rest of my life to getting unstuck
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Postby MVPSPORTS » Mon Apr 03, 2006 8:37 pm

Wait.... I thought the hookers and ratpoison was about me... You goddamn sonofabitch... Not only is everything you say 1000x funnier than anything I've ever thought... But now you're stealing my identity too... C**t...

And, from someone who fights a LOT (can't imagine why, eh?), heres a little tip when you go full throttle with the crackies... WEAR A SPORTSBRA... In an all out brawl, with those swingin mantitties you're sporting (or so says Kooooooz), a Purple Nurple could be fatal...

Jus lookin out...
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Postby HitmanXL » Tue Apr 04, 2006 6:38 am

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Postby Kuso » Tue Apr 04, 2006 6:53 am

the following is based on my limited NLHE knowledge and experience... take these words for what they're worth (probably not much).


i think this chart is a solid place to start. the real issue is how well do you play post flop. plenty of these hands are trap hands that you can lose your stack with IF you aren't very good at reading boards and reading hands.

as for nut peddling... yes, that's what you want to do on loose passive tables. the weakness of a lot of lower limit players is that they're calling stations. as such, you make them pay for that leak by showing down solid hands. sure, you can squeak in the occasional steal of a small orphan pot, but bluffing just doesn't seem worth it overall.

on tight tables, you need to jack up the aggression a bit because you won't be getting much action on your monsters. the increased aggression, though, is a potential trap if you don't know how to lay a hand down. actually, i'd change sites rather than play at tight tables.
wwcrd?

"that basically sums up poker for me - 12" needle in the testicle." <nutkick> mvp
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