I want some opinions on the following hands, because i feel like the average retard on party lately. I swear people join my table because of me.

He's rated a gambler by Excession's rules and is something like 18/8.5/2.5

Hero ($198)
MP1 ($239.41)
MP2 ($255.24)
CO ($255.85)
Button ($470)
SB ($90.60)
BB ($224.39)

Preflop: Hero is UTG with , . SB posts a blind of $1.
Hero calls $2, 3 folds, Button raises to $12, 2 folds, Hero calls $10.

Flop: ($27) , , (2 players)
Hero bets $12, Button calls $12.

Hoping to bet/3bet.

Turn: ($51) (2 players)
Hero bets $50, Button calls $50.

So ur drawing huh, no way i'll give u odds.

River: ($151) (2 players)

Now what???

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UTG is the reason why i'm playing this table he's a total retard 52/22/5. MP is shortie no read.

Hero ($197)
UTG ($471.97)
MP ($75.80)
Button ($276.70)
SB ($199)

Preflop: Hero is BB with , . SB posts a blind of $1.
UTG raises to $6, MP calls $6, 2 folds, Hero calls $4.

I could fold but th*n again i could not.

Flop: ($19) , , (3 players)
Hero checks, UTG checks, MP bets $14, Hero calls $14, UTG raises to $28, MP calls $55.80 (All-In)

Wasn't this the flop i was hoping for??? Not sure what the minraise of UTG means but when MP pushed í had only 2 options in my opinion.

Push or fold?

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Call or fold. No read on vilian.

Party Poker No-Limit Hold'em, $ BB (5 handed)

UTG ($87.69)
MP ($82)
Button ($121.47)
Hero ($225.50)
BB ($64.45)

Preflop: Hero is SB with , . Hero posts a blind of $1.
2 folds, Button raises to $8, Hero (poster) raises to $23, 1 fold, Button calls $16.

Standard.??

Flop: ($50) , , (2 players)
Hero bets $25, Button calls $97.47 (All-In)

call/fold?

Half pot bet because i do that with whatever i have on the flop in a r/r pot. Set, overpair or AKo. I always bet half pot which gives me low variance imo and a whole lot of folds.

Hand 1, your flop bet is probably too small. Turn is probably a bit big. River can go either way, bet for value or check to induce bluffs.

Hand 2, I would call or shove. Since UTG sucks I wouldn't be too worried. Edit: Actually I think I prefer a call if UTG sucks. Hopefully he will give you good odds to draw and you can probably stack him when you hit.

Hand 3, fold.

Hand 1) I think you're ahead most of the time and that you should see how you can extract value. If he had two pair or a set he would have raised the turn, so he's most likely on a hand like Asx. I guess checking to induce a bluff may be good here.

Hand 2) I'd push here, but then I like to push my draws and my sets in spots like these. I'm putting MP on a random K, and if UTG is retarded, well, then I don't know what he has. My only worry would be if he played like this with a hand like AQd. Would he?

Hand 3) Without a read I call, although I'm not happy about it. Actually in these spots with these stack sizes I sometimes checkraise allin, but if I reraise preflop I CBet most of the time. Sure, you'll see QQ-AA here a bunch of times, but you'll also see TT, 88 or even AK, AQ. You're calling $72 to win $171 or so, so you don't have to be ahead that often. Also, calling makes it clear that you don't like to be messed with.