Havent posted in my journal in a while since I havent played live in a while. Anyways I played my usual 2/4 nl at the local indian Casino. I do AA back to back hands and won two nice pots. I made an really good read and folded a boat to a bigger boat, put the other guy on tilt, uinfortunately not to me though. Ended up leaving up a little over $100 not a bad day. Felt like I played really well.

Played my favorite juicy home game tonight. I love games where everyone is smoking bud like there's no tommorrow, being the only good players who is sober at a table is always a nice feeling and no matter what one of my dumbass firends says, no one plays better poker when they are high or drunk, poker is a game of thinking and when your brain is cloudy you can not play your A game. Anyway hands from the game.

Double up early with QQ vs a very agressive player pushing all in with 109s after the flop came J108. Than the funny story, I am in the BB with 56 suited, this really horrible player who is big stack, makes a small raise to $3, two other players call, flop comes bingo 66A, rainbow. One player leads $5 I call, so does out table idiot. Turn is a Q completing the rainbow. Player 1 bets $5 again and this time I'm going to raise but I am pretty sure idiot is going to raise so, I just call, like clockwork he thinks he smells weakness and raises to $25, player 1 calls. I push all in for another $65. Raiser calls instantly, other player thinks about it and calls. The idiot is playing . Thank you take another hit off he bubbler.

Finsihed up almost $200 at a $40 buy in game.

Another day at the SDSU home game, pretty soft game as usual. I broke even, really didnt make any big hands, made a nice semi-bluff with an open ended str8 draw, was able to fold KK and top pair, I was in position so my worst case scenario was I was hoping to get a free card even if I got a caller. My buddy Mitcheze cleaned up the game, he bought in for $20 and left with almost $500.

Yipppeee, I found a new place to play NL, a tiny little whole in the wall casino near SDSU, they just started playing NL there and the game is incredable. I had a great day today, ended up in for $400 and walked with almost $1300, will finish this post tommorrow, its 3:15am and I need to sleep. I think I am going back tomorrow, so I guess 8 hours of sleep and back at it.

Ok so, here is the full story from yesterday. The game at the lucky lady in San Diego, was one of the softer games I've played in a while. I didnt make a big hand for the first couple of hours I played. finally I flopped top pair from the BB with Q9, turned top two and go an all in from the calling station and table ATM. double up #1 up to $500. Next hand is against one of my poker friends so I almost felt bad. I am in the BB with 35o . I check, flop is [Js]. I had check raised earlier in the day when I flopped trips so I decided to bet out this time. I bet $20 one caller and my buddy bunmps it so $60. I really think he is on a flush draw so I decide to reraise, since there really arent to many cards that give me his stack, he isnt going to call a big bet with the flush with the board double paired. I reraise to $200. In the apr 29, the hand that I made a semi bluff with an openended draw and took down the pot and showed it, well this is the guy that had top pair and I made him lay it down. Part of the reason that I made this play was I knew he had either a big jack or a flush draw, If he had AJ I wanted to look like the same play as I made at him on the semi bluff. He thinks about it and pushed all in, I call and my guess was right AJ, I take down another $400. up to $900. Final big hand I have 76o on the button. I have been playing a little looser than usual, in this game since there was so much action post flop, I was willing to call with rags to try to flop a monster. I call the flop is 348 rainbow, utg bets $10, with I would normally fold but the table ATM who has $500 in front of him calls and so does 4 other players, so I make an impied odds call. Turn is a brick. It checks around to me, I thought about trying to steal but the calling station/atm is still in the hand and I know he is going to call me with any pait. so I check. The 5 hits on the river and I now have the nuts. EP bets $50 and I'm now trying to hold back my excitement, atm calls, one more caller. I bump it to $200, after doing a little acting job, get one caller who had 2 pair. I'm now up to $1350, I cash out about 20 min later. Great day. I needed one of the those 4 digit days.

Yeah it was nice to have another monster day it has been awhile, anyways I messed up i had 67 not, I fixed it in my post, thanks.

Wow kind of depressing, how long its been since I have played live and posted. I did play a short session at ocean 11 on my way home from San Louis Obisbo, played at a really nice table aty first was up $200 in the first 30 min, then the table broke, and I went and played another table where I managed to get a set of J's cracked calling a flop all in and getting busted by running diamonds, AK had no pair and was drawing to a running str8 or running diamonds, yeah a world of fun. Lost $300 pot, down to $250 than didnt play a hand for the next what felt like hours, left about 2.5 after I got there up $28.

I am in the middle of a week from hell at school. I had a java quiz this morning and two midterms, the second of which is in about 30 min. Plus a progam due on thursday which I havent started yet since have been studying for everything else.

I'm not sure if anyone reads this other than me, but if you do this is a warning: LONG and whinning post follows.

This has been a really frustrating week for me. School has sucked. I took two obsecenely difficult midterms on tuesday. I got 69/100 on the first one class average was 51. Second one I got a 65 class average was 57. These class's are taught by the same professor and he refuses to curve his fucking class's / His response was well the first midterm was easier. So Fucking what, two midterms one not so hard, one really fucking hard. That just means to doing decently well on the first and getting fucked on the second one leaves me at a C in both class's going into the final and I have done more than one standard deviate above average on both midrterms in both class's. No pressure going into finals in two weeks. I guess he cant fail 75% of the class, so maybe he will make the final better.

So this is my background for the week, I didnt sleep most of the week, trying to study and then having a seperate tough java program due on firday morning. So I finished the program on thursday afternoon, went to all my class's and then played the home game in the above post. I wont go into details but it was a suckout session and I lost $80 vs two horrible players, with the best hand every time.

So it comes to today, I am heading to SLO this weekend because Saturday is my GF's birthday, I was going to stop at one of the LA casino's on my way. Either Hollywood park, THe Bike or commerce. Instead I decided to play at my favorite San Diego Casino, the lucky lady. So the day started out well, my second hand I looked down at KK. I raise to $25, player to my left was I watched tilt for the last 15 min makes it $50, calling station calls, it folds back to me I push all-in. Both call one has 1010, the other guy the tilt player refuses to turn over his hand swears he had QQ, not sure if I believe him but either way I flop a king and the board pairs on the turn and I tripple up to start. 3 hand later I looks down at in the BB, the player on tilt pushes all in from utg for $30 something, another player with $100 calls. I think and push all in. I really just wanted to add some dead money to the pot, other player calls. I flop a K and I knock them both out. The rush continues a little longer. I am playing 10's from the CO, new player, min raises from UTG, 4 callers. I call, money flop for me 1094. one player bets $20 , min raiser pushs all in for whats left of his $200 buy in. umm yeah I call , other player folds. Villian turns over AA , I win another big pot. At this point I'm up about $700 in the first hour. Not bad
Then it all falls apart.

Hand number 1 I'm BB with 5/9 I check and flop bottom 2. A95. Moron that I busted with my KK leads out $20. I call, turn is a 10 making the 2nd diamond, he leads out $25, I raise to $75 he calls. River is another A, he bets out $150, um ok I fold. He shows me A4. Nice catch

Hand 2 I am on the button with , I raise from he CO, the other really bad player/ calling station limps in front of me and its me and the blinds. I decide to raise to $20, I know the idiot will call and dont really want to play the blinds. blinds fold, villian calls. Flops is K10s2 one spade. He checks I bet $30 he calls.Turn is a great card for my hand , idiot leads out $40, he has about $400 behind him and I can see it in my stack. I raise to $140. He thinks and calls. River is a red 7. He leads out $20, I think about it and just call , I want to raise but the pot is decently big and I'm up against a calling station. He shows K/7 two outter in the river great.

Hand 3 pretty much the same hand as hand 1 vs the same moron. I am playing 67 spades I raise to $25 from LP, just trying to get control of the hand and get the button. Flop is 67J rainbow. It checks to me, I lead out $40, moron calls. Turn is an A, he leads out $40, I raise to $150 again. He calls, river is another A. You have gotta be fukn kidding me, he pushes all in for another $400. Fuck I fold. I asj him if he would have called if I pushed all in on the turn, he says of course thats what I want you to do. I smile and say nice hand well played.

I know this is part of the game but wtf, I was having a good day and then this BS. This is where I really need to improve myself and one of the things I'm really pissed at the way . One of the guys who I play with a lot made a comment that you could roasted vege's with the heart coming out of my ears. He was right of course. The moron from hand 1 and 3 gets up after this hand and racks his chips and gets ready to leave. I ask him you leaving, he says yeah. I say "nice hit and run". He looks at me and says I dont play well when have a lot of chips. In my frusteration, I say "The way you play I'm not surprised". He gives me a dirty look. As he's getting up to leave I look at him and say "Nice game, well played." He doesnt say anything and just walks to the cashier.

Was I right, well yes, he is a fish and sucked out on me twice, but its me that I am really annoyed with. I content to be a semi-pro and my results back that up, but until I learn to shut my mouth and not scare off/educate the fish I can't take my game to the next level. As TUP has said, the toughest player to beat is the one sitting in my seat. I need to be able to better contain my emotions, it is one of the things that is keeping me from being a better player. I seem to feel that a pot is mine when I have the best hand, and get pissed when I get drawn out. Holdem is a 5 card and no one wins til all the cards are out. Bitching, whining, and getting pissed helps nothing other than, knocking me off my game.

Well after all this I had one more great hand. I am in the SB with AQd, 5 limpers to me, I bump it to $25, I know I have the best hand and would be happy to take the limpers money. Only caller is the short stack who has $45 left after calling my raise. Flop is 379, there is now $70 in the pot and he has $45 i push , he instant calls. He is playing 33, wonderfull drawing dead on the flop.

After all is said and done, I went from up $800 to pretty much break even, actaully up $18. Just needed one ot these hands to hold up and bust the fish and I leave up a grand. I know what you are probably thinking these guys are making crappy plays and this is what you want. Yes that is correct, I know it, but after having a rough week, this is hard to really see when, I went from up 4.5 buy-ins to break even in a run of crappy beats. It also doesnt keep it from being very frusterating, especially since I cant seem to keep the BS that goes on in my reguar life from affecting me in my poker life.

I think I'm going to go work out before I head to SLO and work out some of the frusteration, I wish I still had my punching bag.

Thanks MG, I was a little irked when I wrote that as one might guess from the tone. I went and worked out, then got to spend 5 hrs in the car and the combination helped me calm down a little. I think one thing, I should take from this, is not playing big live games when I'm already stressed, playing today was a bad idea, winning would have made me feel good as always but after a stressfull week, maybe a trip to the beach would have been better for my mental health. I still dont know how the pros do it, how well they play is impressive but the mental toughness is what really is impressive to me. Howard Lederer gets his top set sucked out on a flush draw and gets knocked out of the WSOP and calmly gets up and shakes Doyles hand and walks out. Me I would have thrown a chair across the room. Still things to work on, I guess.

The other realization I made today in long drive was that I am very happy with the way I'm playing, which is a good thing. Every big pot I have played I have either had the best hand or was getting odds to a big draw, I havent in quite a while put a lot of money in a pot with a big dog, thinking I'm ahead. This is great and I'm happy about it but being a perfectionist, it really points out that my emotions are what is keeping me from being the best player at almost every table I sit at. I have times when I can tell you what everyone is playing and be right on most of the time, now I just need to find a way to not get frusterated when I dont win and keep up my concentration and I might just be good at this game.