It's about time he updated this the fucking slacker....

Vegas TR: So long I kinda wish I didn't waste half my afternoon writing this.

Everything about Vegas from the plane flight in to the poker tables to the assorted erotica business cards sprawled everywhere in the streets screamed degeneracy.

My flight left at about 7:30pm on Friday night and I was seated next to two already drunk middle-aged Mexican men who couldn't stop laughing and cheering at the thought of being in Vegas. There was a group of 30ish year old and not very hot chicks sitting behind me going into Vegas for a bachelorette party who would clap and hoot every time the air hostesses mentioned anything about drinking, gambling, partying or the word "Vegas". So there I was, sitting amidst couples going in for the weekend together excited about gambling and talking about their self imposed $100 daily limits, with close to 7 grand in my pockets thinking about whether or not I would even be allowed to play poker.

We arrived at about 9 and I knew emmasdad was getting in 1.5 hours later so I planned on just waiting for him at the airport. I bought the book 'The Alchemist' since I'd heard so much about how good it was and sat down to read when I looked up at the arrivals board and saw his flight was a couple of hours late. I didn't feel like waiting till 1am or whatever so I jumped in a cab. "To the MGM please." It didn't take long before we arrived but in the short ride there the cabbie had already told me of a story involving him driving down dark alleys with a passenger looking for a specific hooker. I gave him a 20 and was on my way inside.

I had my backpack with me so I left that with the bell desk and went in search of the MGM's poker room. It wasn't too hard to find and was a pretty nice room. I went up to put my name on the list for the 2/5, 5/5 and 5/10 tables and hoped they wouldn't ask for my ID. Ten minutes later I'm sitting with a rack and a beer a 2/5 table and licking my lips watching how horrible the players were.

I played for a few hours till ED arrived and built my buyin up to about $1.7k or so. It was definitely the juiciest 2/5 game that I'd ever played in. I played a very laggy style and was amazed at how straightforward people played, as I raked in pot after pot with 2nd pair. ED got there at about 1:30 and I put my name on the 1/2 list to get to the same table as him. I managed to get there after a while but that table broke and I went back to a 2/5 game, having to buy back in for $500 again.

At this point it should be noted that I'm pretty well drunk and don't really remember many hands from this point on. I actually recall two, and only very roughly. One was where I held a five and a seven in my hand and the turn and the river were a 5 and a 7 and I open-shoved the river and got called by what I think was an overpair, maybe aces. I don't remember what happened on any of the streets except the river. The other hand was where I had AJ and shoved for $2k or so on a J52 (i think?) board and ran into 22. I remember arguing with this douchebag to my left (and come to think of it I probably came off as a douchebag too) as I kept pulling out my roll of 100s and offering to flip for his entire stack ($1.5kish I think?) but that was about all I remember.

ED and I left and we met up with oatmealforxmas at some point and got some breakfast somewhere at some time. I then remember going to a few casinos just looking for somewhere to sleep. I wound up at the Venetian and asked how much for a room, they said something between $300 and $400. I was considering getting it when I just thought screw it and went to the poker tables. I saw ED in a game and I guess we'd agreed to meet up here earlier. I sat down in the 5/10nl uncapped game with $2k, not really drunk at this point but just extremely tired and very out of it.

The game was a) unbelievably soft and b) so deep it was stupid. A couple of people had $20k+ in front of them, with most people having about $5k each. I played for a couple of hours until Jaime, Kara and Kara's mum came up and said hi. They were staying at the Venetian and offered to let me sleep in their room, I was super happy about that. I gave Jaime $600 to put money on a couple of UFC fights for me (IOAHFDIUOQW^TUSADHkjADNLIA^%&^@$DUQ@Y$%IJt3uq90ruiAOWH&*@^*&^Q*$dAD) and kept playing for a little bit then went up to the room with him. All up in that game I won $3.

Kara and Brian (her bf/fiance) joined us after a while and we watched a movie/ordered roomservice/I lost to Jaime in scrabble for the afternoon. I was so tired and went to bed at around 3ish I think and they went out shopping and to this super nice place for dinner.

16 hours later I wake up. We spent most of Sunday down by the Venetian pool as Kara's parents had a cabana which was real nice to stay in. I had to go buy some clothes to wear since I only had my jeans and a spare shirt with me. Several hours, a victorius game of scrabble and many drinks later we left for Caesars. Brian was smashed at this point and Kara was pretty buzzed too which led to a pretty hilarious cab ride over.

I'd decided by now to stay in Vegas for a few more days since it was fun and I'd been offered a place to stay with Jaime/Kara/Brian. We got to Caesars and dropped our bags and things off in the room. Jaime and I went down to meet up with ED and MVP in the poker room and we started up a 1/2 PLO game with a $5 bring in. Fast forward a couple of hours and I have a $1.4k stack ($500 buyin) and we have to leave to go see a Beatles show.

The show was pretty good. Jaime was extremely excited by it and loved every second of it. I only recognized 3 songs out of the 12-15 that they sang but enjoyed it nonetheless. We left and had another show to go to in a bit over an hour. We did a bit of shopping in the meantime and got to witness Jaime's horrendous moonwalking attempts. The second show was a dinner + show "Tournament of Kings" jousting match. It was laaaaaaaame. It was made semi interesting by the four of us betting on who would win but still contained too much random talking, jesting, and old men in wizard costumes attempting to arouse the audience by saying "HUZZAHHH!" a thousand times.

After we left we spent probably a good hour in a gigantic arcade walking around and looking for random games to bet on. We found some horse-racing game where you had to roll a small ball up a ramp and there were a bunch of holes which each gained you either 1, 2 or 3 'moves' that you had to get the ball into. Jaime and I bet $100 on the match but due to unforeseen and greatly unfortunate circumstances for the bet, my machine malfunctioned and the bet was declared void.

Eventually we found another game to bet on, shooting hoops. We had two throws each and I got one in on my last attempt. It's pretty obvious who is more skilled out of the two of us.

We went home and played a game of scrabble and all passed out at around 11pm.

The next day we hung out by the pool again and I obliterated Jaime in a game of chess even after giving him queen odds. We spent a while relaxing then went back to the room to, erm, relax. At about 7 or so we went down to the poker room and put our names on the 5/10 NL list and got a game started after not too long of a wait. The game was really soft and we both stood a chance to make a lot of money. Unfortunately (or not, depending on how you look at it) the plans we had to see a show that night got canceled and we remade plans to go to dinner at Shintaro so we could only play for about an hour. I had one big hand in that time:

Middle aged Asian guy limps in EP, he'd been limping a lot. I raise in the CO I think to $40 or $50 with 34s and one other guy calls as well as the EP limper. The flop is 743 with 2 spades and the EP guy leads for $150. I make it $600, it folds to him and he shoves for about $600 more. I call after a couple of seconds not being overly pleased but knowing I obviously have to call, then he says "do you have a pair?", lol. I said I had 2pair and he looked extremely upset and mumbled something about having an overpair to the guy next to him. The turn and the river brick and I scoop a nice pot. Jaime says he saw he had 88, lol nice hand!

We left shortly after and head over to the Bellagio to go to Shintaro. Our reservations were for 9 but we didn't get in until about 9:40. They sat us at a teppan-yaki table and didn't give us the full menu. Jaime sulked looking like a child who was just told he wasn't getting anything for christmas that year. Kara asked if we could get seated to one of the non-teppan-yaki tables and made enough of a fuss about it that they moved us.

Jaime and I both ordered the Kurosh Sampling with wine pairings. It was a 5 course meal served over about an hour. It was fucking delicious. I also ordered seared foie gras and a lobster roll entree. The foie gras was excellent as was the lobster rolls, albeit a little on the minty side.

Jaime has a list of exactly what was in the Sampling. The wine that came with each course was very well paired with the food and one course was served with sake which was a new experience for me and I enjoyed it. We had a view of the Bellagio fountains from our table which was nice. The meal was by far the most expensive that I've ever had coming to $178 before tip for me alone.

After dinner we head back to Caesars to watch Kara's mom at the final table of their nightly $150 donkament. She got it all in with 99 vs TT and A9, SHIP A 9 TY DEALER. After that she got to HU with about even chips and chopped it with some guy for $1800 a piece or something like that. We then went back to the room and slept.

Tuesday was the day I played most of my poker. Jaime and I set off to the Bellagio in the afternoon to play a session. We got there and put our names on the 5/10NL list and he also put his name on the 10/20NL list. We got called over to the 5/10 game after not too long and my seat was immediately OOP to him which really stunk. After a while though a couple of people left and I got a seat with position on him. I figured one of us could move to another seat when someone else leaves and we could be on opposite ends of the table. Nothing too exciting happened for a while. The table was pretty soft. There were a couple of middle aged men who seemed very average, a couple of bad players who limped too much and one guy who was pretty laggy but not in a great way. A couple of others were decent players but not great either and I was obviously the best player at the table with Xas the 2nd best .

Then this hand came up. I raise UTG to $40 and the not-to-great-lag to my left 3bet me to $150 or so. Folds to me and I call. Effective stacks are $1100 or so I think. The flop is [7s][4s] (or it may have been 447) and I check. He bets $200 and I make it $600. He hems for a few moments then shoves and it's maybe $400 more to me, I obv call. He flips over around the same time the turn is dealt which is the . I'm thinking wow this is so sick/fucking awesome while the river comes like the and I'm left wondering wtf happened since I hadn't lost to a flush draw in 3 months. Anyway I built up my stack and ended being down around $600 when I decided to go play the 40/80 mixed game they had going on.

This game was so juicy it seemed unbelievable. There was a four game rotation with the games being: Omaha 8, Badugi, 2-7 TD and 7CS8. I had only played Badugi once before and wasn't super clear on the rules but managed to hold my own in that game. I was definitely a losing player when I started out since I hadn't the best grasp of strategy but after a couple of hours I think I was probably breaking even that orbit. I felt that I was the best player in the other three games, especially in 2-7 TD when most of them really had no idea how to play. I played until about 1am and swung from being down $3k or so to winning a few hundred, putting me at about even for the day including my 5/10 losses. I went back to the hotel and went to sleep, Jaime had left earlier.

The next morning was a bit rushed as Jaime, Kara and Kara's parents were flying back to the east coast and had to be out by 9:30 or so. Short story shorter, they packed and got their bags down to the car and I took my backpack and we said goodbye etc and they were on their way. I was pretty hungry so decided to stroll over the the Bellagio and see what was available food-wise. There was the Buffet but it was still serving breakfast and I didn't feel like eating breakfast-type food. There was a nice restaurant opening for lunch at 11 so I walked around for a bit till it was time then went there to eat. The oysters were excellent as well as the bread and dip that they served, the pizza was also excellent. I wasn't too fond of the lamb which they served with a sort of pea puree w/ mint but I was able to fill up on the rest of the food. It was here that I got carded for the first time since getting to Vegas and they wouldn't let me drink a beer .

I left and went to the poker room to see what I could play for the next few hours. I put my name on the 5/10nl list and was sitting at one of the tables when one of the floor people came over who was working there last night and she asked me if I would like the last available seat at the 40/80 game they were starting up. Of course I said yes and sat in. This game was even softer than it was last night. Unfortunately the best player in the game who was also there last night was playing, and he wasted no time in moving seats to get to my left. I could tell he was mildly annoyed with my aggression since the rest of the players were all so passive, and he consistently 3bet me so I had to tighten up a bit which sucked. Nonetheless I managed to get a couple of pots off him. There was one interesting Badugi hand that I think I misplayed, but I'll post that in the other games section. All up I ended up $5. I really would love to go back and stay at the Bellagio and play in that game for hours every day as I felt I had a significant edge.

My flight was leaving at 3:15pm and it was 1:45 or so, so I had a bit of time before I had to take a cab. I wound up playing at a 3 card poker table. First hand I put down an ante of $10 and a pairs-plus bonus of $10. I get dealt 666 and the dealer gets A-high and I win like $350 on the hand. The next hand I increase my bets to $20 each and get dealt 678 and the dealer gets K-high, I win like $200 on the hand. The next hand I increase my bets to $50 each and get dealt 99T and the dealer gets A-high, I win like $150 on the hand. So I left.

Fucking-a this post was long. I'm pretty psyched about a) how easy it was to play poker there being underage and b) how good the food is there. I'd really love to go back for another weekend sometime soon, anyone else wanna come?

Oh I forgot to mention I bet $500 on the Yankees vs the Sox with Xas and won that bet. GO YANKEES! I'm loving this whole "baseball" thing you guys have going on here.

i'll go when I'll be loaded...

i read all this to find out you did not go to a stripclub...

touché.

Bit low on the Scrabble content, otherwise a right riveting read.

Would be good to see the moves of the chess game.

i'm also noticing theres no mention of how many dumps you took on the trip, or any specifics of said dumps either. More details plz.

Sounds like a good time, apart from the fact there wasn't obcene amounts of HE played, if I ever get there I'm disappearing into a poker room and not coming out for like, a month.

All in all, how much was you up/down on poker for the trip?

When you coming to London?