Or this thread could be titled why I can't beat an asshole with a 40% VP$IP

$0.25/$0.5 No Limit Holdem
9 players
Converted at

Stacks:
UTG ($34.30)
UTG+1 ($49.45)
MP1 ($49.50)
MP2 ($39.70)
MP3 ($50.00)
CO ($38.95)
Hero ($70.60)
SB ($49.50)
BB ($65.70)

Pre-flop: ($0.75, 9 players) Hero is BTN [Jh]
1 fold, BB says "ty" ($65.20), 2 folds, MP2 calls $0.5 ($39.20), 1 fold, CO calls $0.5 ($38.45), Hero raises to $2.75 ($67.85), 2 folds, MP2 folds ($39.20), CO calls $2.25 ($36.20)
14.30% (EV = -$1.78)
85.70% (EV = $3.03)

Flop: [5d][9d] ($6.75, 2 players)
CO checks ($36.20), Hero bets $4.5 ($63.35), CO raises to $9 ($27.20), Hero calls $4.5 ($58.85)
51.60% (EV = $3.77)
48.40% (EV = $2.98)

Turn: ($24.75, 2 players)
CO checks ($27.20), Hero checks ($58.85)
100.00% (EV = $24.75)
0.00% (EV = $0.00)

River: ($24.75, 2 players)
CO checks ($27.20), Hero checks ($58.85)
100.00% (EV = $24.75)
0.00% (EV = $0.00)

Final Pot: $24.75
CO shows: [2h]
Hero shows: [Jh]

CO wins $23.55 ( won +$11.8 )
MP2 lost -$0.50
Hero lost -$11.75


---------------

Nothing much here, just my day.

$0.25/$0.5 No Limit Holdem
8 players
Converted at

Stacks:
Hero ($44.25)
UTG+1 ($47.50)
MP1 ($56.35)
MP2 ($19.00)
CO ($55.75)
BTN ($28.80)
SB ($38.65)
BB ($29.05)

Pre-flop: ($0.75, 8 players) Hero is UTG [Ks]
Hero calls $0.5 ($43.75), CO says "no its simple math idiot" ($55.75), CO says "lol" ($55.75), 2 folds, SB says "my wife dont pick that close" ($38.40), MP2 calls $0.5 ($18.50), 1 fold, BTN raises to $2.5 ($26.30), 2 folds, Hero raises to $8.75 ($35.00), SB says "aww we have a girly-man thats going to defend him self for correcting me on my math...lol" ($38.40), MP2 folds ($18.50), BTN calls $6.25 ($20.05)
28.00% (EV = -$3.50)
72.00% (EV = $4.75)

Flop: [3s][Tc] ($18.75, 2 players)
Hero bets $12.5 ($23.00), BTN goes all-in $20.05 ($0.00), SB says "now thats funny i dont care who you are thats funny" ($38.40), Hero calls $7.55 ($15.45)
12.30% (EV = -$12.81)
87.70% (EV = $31.56)

Turn: ($58.85, 2 players)
6.80% (EV = $4.00)
93.20% (EV = $54.85)

River: ($58.85, 2 players)
100.00% (EV = $58.85)
0.00% (EV = $0.00)

Final Pot: $58.85
BTN shows: [8s]
Hero shows: [Ks]

BTN wins $55.95 ( won +$27.15 )
Hero lost -$28.80
MP2 lost -$0.50

I'm just never gonna win this one, am I?

$0.25/$0.5 No Limit Holdem
9 players
Converted at

Stacks:
UTG ($52.30)
UTG+1 ($7.65)
Hero ($61.00)
MP2 ($21.35)
MP3 ($37.85)
CO ($72.55)
BTN ($79.25)
SB ($23.95)
BB ($61.95)

Pre-flop: ($0.75, 9 players) Hero is MP1 [Ad]
1 fold, UTG+1 calls $0.5, Hero raises to $2.25, 6 folds, UTG+1 goes all-in $7.65, Hero calls $5.4
25.20% (EV = -$3.61)
74.80% (EV = $4.36)

Flop: [9c][Qh] ($16.05, 2 players)
86.00% (EV = $13.80)
14.00% (EV = $2.25)

Turn: ($16.05, 2 players)
93.20% (EV = $14.96)
6.80% (EV = $1.09)

River: ($16.05, 2 players)
100.00% (EV = $16.05)
0.00% (EV = $0.00)

Final Pot: $16.05
UTG+1 shows: [Qd]
Hero shows: [Ad]

UTG+1 wins $15.25 ( won +$7.6 )
Hero lost -$7.65

----------

$0.25/$0.5 No Limit Holdem
8 players
Converted at

Stacks:
UTG ($53.80)
Hero ($49.25)
MP1 ($19.00)
MP2 ($22.05)
CO ($43.10)
BTN ($15.05) 37/11 +$36.50
SB ($37.50)
BB ($30.15)

Pre-flop: ($0.75, 8 players) Hero is UTG+1 [Kc]
UTG calls $0.5, Hero raises to $2.25, 3 folds, BTN goes all-in $15.05, 2 folds, UTG folds, Hero calls $12.8
25.30% (EV = -$7.24)
74.70% (EV = $8.37)

Flop: [7s][7d] ($31.35, 2 players)
20.20% (EV = $6.23)
79.80% (EV = $25.02)

Turn: ($31.35, 2 players)
13.60% (EV = $4.20)
86.40% (EV = $27.09)

River: ($31.35, 2 players)
100.00% (EV = $30.85)
0.00% (EV = $0.00)

Final Pot: $31.35
BTN shows: [As]
Hero shows: [Kc]

BTN wins $29.8 ( won +$14.75 )
UTG lost -$0.50
Hero lost -$15.05