You know the saying "Everybody will at some time run worse than they thought possible"? I'm doing that. I literally did not think it was possible to run this way. Or rather, I thought it was so statistically unlikely that it was just never going to happen if I played poker until I was 50.

The "problem" is that the last months I have been working tremendously on the mental side of the game. I've been reading "The Poker Mindset" and "Zen..." etc and really, really worked on the mental part of my game. I feel that I am almost never tilting, and that I am really close to not letting the results affect me *at all*.

I say "problem" because if I hadn't been doing that, I would have quit much earlier and saved myself a bunch of monies. I've posted a couple of low content threads the last months (february was my first losing month in about 4 years). But you know how it goes. Now imagine two months of bad beats. Not really many ups and downs, the beats keep coming at a rather regular pace. Sometimes you'll get hit 3-4 times in the matter of 5 minutes, but usually it's just "Build up.... bad beat, reload... build up.... cooler, reload... build up.... stay up.... small beat.... build up.... bad beat, reload.... quit"

Last session I had some beats that started to get to me. I felt like there was a small chink in the armor. Today. It felt like a crack in the armor. I looked back, I looked at today. And decided, enough. Am I over reacting? Maybe. Probably even. But since I've worked so hard on not letting results effect me, I feel like it's safer to over react and quit. Does that make sense?

This was the second hand I played after I sat down:

Seat 3: Lumander ($106.45 in chips)
Seat 6: x sale1981 ($31.80 in chips)
Seat 8: AmigoPro ($124.20 in chips)
Seat 9: prodros ($81.30 in chips)
Seat 10: Stoneburg ,[Ad] ] ($100.50 in chips)

Lumander posts blind ($1).

PRE-FLOP
x sale1981 calls $1, AmigoPro folds, Stoneburg bets $5, Lumander folds, x sale1981 calls $4.50.

FLOP [board cards ,[Th],[6d] ]
Stoneburg bets $7, x sale1981 calls $7.

TURN [board cards ,[Th],[6d],[7d] ]
Stoneburg bets $25, x sale1981 calls $19.30 and is all-in.

RIVER [board cards ,[Th],[6d],[7d],[Ks]

SHOWDOWN
Stoneburg shows [Ad]
x sale1981 shows [8c]
x sale1981 wins $61.60

After that one, I asked the GF "He hit a gutshot on me (we have been joking about how often I have lost to gutshots lately), should I just quit immediatly?" She said No, unfortunately.

*********************************

Seat 3: Lumander ($119.90 in chips)
Seat 6: x sale1981 ($46.25 in chips)
Seat 8: AmigoPro ($119.40 in chips)
Seat 9: prodros ($102.80 in chips)
Seat 10: Stoneburg [Qh] ($95.90 in chips)
ANTES/BLINDS
prodros posts blind ($0.50), Stoneburg posts blind ($1).

PRE-FLOP
Lumander folds, x sale1981 folds, AmigoPro bets $4, prodros calls $3.50, Stoneburg bets $20, AmigoPro bets $115.40 and is all-in, prodros folds, Stoneburg calls $74.90 and is all-in.

FLOP [board cards ,[Jh],[Ad]

TURN [board cards ,[Jh],[Ad],[Td]

RIVER [board cards ,[Jh],[Ad],[Td],[Jc]

SHOWDOWN
AmigoPro shows [ ,[Jd] ]
Stoneburg shows [ ,[Qh] ]
AmigoPro wins $216.30.

*********************************

Seat 5: zgodna ($577.25 in chips)
Seat 6: Fenix17 ($96.60 in chips)
Seat 7: rAAiser18cm ($57.25 in chips)
Seat 8: Stoneburg [ ,[Tc] ] ($85.00 in chips)
Seat 9: Mikodeemus1 ($174.90 in chips)
ANTES/BLINDS
zgodna posts blind ($0.50), Fenix17 posts blind ($1).

PRE-FLOP
rAAiser18cm folds, Stoneburg bets $6, Mikodeemus1 folds, zgodna calls $5.50, Fenix17 folds.

FLOP [board cards ,[Qh],[Ac] ]
zgodna checks, Stoneburg checks.

TURN [board cards ,[Qh],[Ac],[7d] ]
zgodna checks, Stoneburg bets $10, zgodna bets $20, Stoneburg calls $10.

RIVER [board cards ,[Qh],[Ac],[7d],[6c] ]
zgodna bets $25, Stoneburg calls $25.

SHOWDOWN
zgodna shows [ ,[Qd] ]
Stoneburg mucks cards [ ,[Tc] ]
zgodna wins $100.

*********************************

Seat 2: HaMaiLee ($70.60 in chips)
Seat 6: Fenix17 ($106.20 in chips)
Seat 7: swedkent ($51.00 in chips)
Seat 8: RomanShilov ($173.50 in chips)
Seat 9: Stoneburg [Kc] ] ($100.00 in chips)
ANTES/BLINDS
RomanShilov posts blind ($0.50), Stoneburg posts blind ($1).

PRE-FLOP
HaMaiLee bets $4, Fenix17 folds, swedkent calls $4, RomanShilov folds, Stoneburg bets $15, HaMaiLee folds, swedkent calls $12.

FLOP [board cards ,[6c],[6s] ]
Stoneburg checks, swedkent bets $35 and is all-in, Stoneburg calls $35.

TURN [board cards ,[6c],[6s],[7h] ]

RIVER [board cards ,[6c],[6s],[7h],[2s] ]

SHOWDOWN
swedkent shows [ ,[2c] ]
Stoneburg shows ,[Kc] ]
swedkent wins $103.50.

*********************************

Seat 5: zgodna ($515.95 in chips)
Seat 7: rAAiser18cm ($78.25 in chips)
Seat 8: Stoneburg [ ,ks ] ($122.15 in chips)
Seat 9: Mikodeemus1 ($100.00 in chips)
Seat 10: kometen x ($30.00 in chips)
ANTES/BLINDS
rAAiser18cm posts blind ($0.50), Stoneburg posts blind ($1).

PRE-FLOP
Mikodeemus1 folds, kometen x calls $1, zgodna calls $1, rAAiser18cm calls $0.50, Stoneburg checks.

FLOP [board cards ,[Th],[Kh] ]
rAAiser18cm checks, Stoneburg bets $8, kometen x calls $8, zgodna calls $8, rAAiser18cm calls $8.

TURN [board cards ,[Th],[Kh],[2s] ]
rAAiser18cm checks, Stoneburg bets $22, kometen x calls $21 and is all-in, zgodna folds, rAAiser18cm folds.

RIVER [board cards ,[Th],[Kh],[2s],[4h] ]

SHOWDOWN
Stoneburg shows [ ,[Ks]
kometen x shows [ ,[8h] ]
Stoneburg wins $1, kometen x wins $75

*********************************

Seat 1: Stoneburg [ ,[6h] ] ($118.75 in chips)
Seat 2: T-Durden- ($90.50 in chips)
Seat 3: longlegs78 ($106.95 in chips)
Seat 9: rAAiser18cm ($78.45 in chips)
Seat 10: humppaxx ($101.90 in chips)
ANTES/BLINDS
rAAiser18cm posts blind ($0.50), humppaxx posts blind ($1).

PRE-FLOP
Stoneburg bets $4, T-Durden- folds, longlegs78 calls $4, rAAiser18cm folds, humppaxx folds.

FLOP [board cards ,[Ts],[7c] ]
Stoneburg bets $5, longlegs78 calls $5.

TURN [board cards ,[Ts],[7c],[8s] ]
Stoneburg checks, longlegs78 bets $10, Stoneburg calls $10.

RIVER [board cards ,[Ts],[7c],[8s],[9h] ]
Stoneburg checks, longlegs78 bets $30, Stoneburg calls $30.

SHOWDOWN
longlegs78 shows [ ,[Kd] ]
Stoneburg mucks cards [ ,[6h] ]
longlegs78 wins $96.50.

He called with two overcards in a raised pot, against my set. He bets the turn with a gutshot (and I was considering CRAI), on the river I am praying for a split.

*********************************

Seat 5: zgodna ($393.20 in chips)
Seat 7: rAAiser18cm ($105.20 in chips)
Seat 8: Stoneburg [ ,[7c] ] ($99.50 in chips)
Seat 9: Mikodeemus1 ($98.50 in chips)
Seat 10: Hankyou31 ($95.50 in chips)
ANTES/BLINDS
zgodna posts blind ($0.50), rAAiser18cm posts blind ($1).

PRE-FLOP
Stoneburg bets $4, Mikodeemus1 folds, Hankyou31 folds, zgodna calls $3.50, rAAiser18cm calls $3.

FLOP [board cards ,[6c],[6s] ]
zgodna checks, rAAiser18cm checks, Stoneburg bets $8, zgodna calls $8, rAAiser18cm folds.

TURN [board cards ,[6c],[6s],[5s] ]
zgodna checks, Stoneburg checks.

RIVER [board cards ,[6c],[6s],[5s],[6d] ]
zgodna bets $10, Stoneburg calls $10.

SHOWDOWN
zgodna shows [ ,[Td] ]
Stoneburg mucks cards [ ,[7c] ]
zgodna wins $45.60.

You might see me making some not-standard plays against this "zgodna" guy. He was playing 94% of hands and playing them very weirdly. He finally left with a $700+ stack. Which is when I hit the desk.

*********************************

A bizarre amount of people were flopping made flushes against my two-pairs or what not. My GF who was watching me play noted "Hey! Now YOU flopped a flush!" of course it turned out a bit different.

Seat 6: x sale1981 ($206.65 in chips)
Seat 7: Mokkk ($71.60 in chips)
Seat 8: chakk12 ($45.10 in chips)
Seat 10: w1ddlewabb1t ,[Jh] ($81.65 in chips)
ANTES/BLINDS
Mokkk posts blind ($0.50), chakk12 posts blind ($1).

PRE-FLOP
w1ddlewabb1t bets $4, x sale1981 folds, Mokkk folds, chakk12 calls $3.

FLOP [board cards ,[9h],[3h]
chakk12 checks, w1ddlewabb1t bets $7, chakk12 calls $7.

TURN [board cards ,[9h],[3h],[2h]
chakk12 checks, w1ddlewabb1t checks.

RIVER [board cards ,[9h],[3h],[2h][8s]
chakk12 bets $25, w1ddlewabb1t folds.

SHOWDOWN
chakk12 wins $46.40.

*********************************

Seat 3: Stoneburg [ ,[As] ] ($137.20 in chips)
Seat 5: Seppo_Susi ($125.90 in chips)
Seat 7: prestestien ($22.00 in chips)
Seat 8: RomanShilov ($105.65 in chips)
ANTES/BLINDS
Seppo_Susi posts blind ($0.50), prestestien posts blind ($1).

PRE-FLOP
RomanShilov bets $4, Stoneburg bets $15, Seppo_Susi folds, prestestien folds, RomanShilov bets $45, Stoneburg calls $34.

FLOP [board cards ,[4c],[5c] ]
RomanShilov bets $56.65 and is all-in, Stoneburg calls $56.65.

TURN [board cards ,[4c],[5c],[Tc] ]

RIVER [board cards ,[4c],[5c],[Tc],[8c]

SHOWDOWN
RomanShilov shows ,[Qc]
Stoneburg shows ,[As]
RomanShilov wins $210.80




I didn't include the "normal" pots where I would raise AQ, get called by A9 who would hit middle pair and drag a small pot. You know all the hands that make you go "Huh. Well, at least he was dominated preflop/on the flop/turn." or "Well, at least I'm playing at a table where people will call re-raises with 83s".



I can't say the results haven't influenced my play at all. For example, in the hand where I flop a set and lose to a runner runner straight, where there is a straight *on the board* and he ends up holding the connecting high card (3:d time in a week exactly that happens amazingly). Two months ago, I think I would have been all-in on that turn. But to counter the bad run I have tried to lower variance by playing tighter (from 26/22 to 21/18), and avoiding some high variance plays. This of course seems to result in me losing even more pots by giving free cards on the turn, so it might be a bad adjustment.

I also compared the last 20k hands with the 30k hands before that. In those 30k hands I made on average 7BB with AA, and 4BB with KK. Over the last 20k I've made 3 with AA, and 1.5 with KK. That means I am only winning about half as much with AA and even less than half with KK. Obviously AA and KK is gonna be the biggest winners over any significant sample and this just feels... it just feels symptomatic I guess. And to me, 20k hands IS a pretty significant sample. I haven't lost over 10k hands in ages, nevermind 20k.

Anyway, to end the tirade, I'm going out to the country tomorrow to visit some friends. After that I will spend the weekend thinking about whether to make this quitting permanent, which means getting a job etc, or if I'm just going to take a break (which I frankly don't have the BR to do really, my BR is down to $1400). Anyway, for now, no more poker. GG.

Just kiddin, hang in there, it always gets better.

Yesterday, -8 stacks and change playing Omahahahaha.

Today, -6 stacks and change playing Hold'em (0% won at SD after 300 hands, lost with AA vs 44 aipf, and a guy called my push preflop with 75o (seriously wtf?!) and won).

Not even pissed, just... tired.

After these months, my total bankroll is <$1500.

Today was a fall forward! I was all-in three times before the flop...


AQ vs A3, flop comes A34 obviously. I lose.

KK vs J9o. Flop brings a J so I know I am pretty much drawing dead against his 5 outs, turn is a 9. I lose.

KK vs JJ. He didn't flop a set, turn didn't bring a J or a flush/straight draw and he missed both his outs on the river!! I WIN!!! I WIN!!!!!!111


Not only did I win a 80/20 situation, the 85/15 and 70/30 I was in was against shortstacks. So I actually had a winning session!! After 331 hands I took the money and ran. Manufacturing winning streaks FTW obviously.