Saturday, August 06, 2005


I enjoy losing...really.
Current mood: annoyed

God forbid I ever exude confidence in my journal, about my good poker play. Every time I say something like "I'm the best NL online holdem player in the world" or "I'm going to be famous in 2 years," poker punches me in the face.

I'm still bleeding after the $600 loss on $1/$2 NL today.

Here's a PM I sent to Iceman on BTP a few minutes after my last session of the day:

I hate ****ing fridays I hate ****ing fridays

Today was absoutley rediclous. I lost $600...$500 was BS..$100 was tilt.

I seriously almost throw my laptop after the last hand. I came really really close.

Let me give you some examples..and trust me i'm not exaggerating

dealt 55 in unraised pot.
FLOP KK5. what does the blind have?? kings down!

KK vs 85... which i posted

T8 in the BB against UTG
FLOP T82
now what does UTG have...why 79 of course...and he's gotta make sure he moves allin because he knows the jack will hit. ****!!!!!

I'm so steaming I can't even remember the rest. I mean WTF?!?! I must have had like 10 flush and straights draws each, and missed every single one. Yet, every single time I had a made hand, there god awful gutshot would hit.


I physcially need to hit something. I havn't gotten like this in a long time.

This is the shit that happens when I try to put in hours. I should just ****ing sleep all day when I'm up big for a week. $600 dollars....WTF!!!!

Suffice to say, this was the day I was "bracing for." One of the reasons I hate putting hours towards poker is the gaurentee that I cannot win every session. Going to work and losing money isn't exactly my idea of a good time. God I hate gambling.

Amazingly, there are some positives coming out of this. I have 22 hours for the week. I seriously have my doubts about putting in 8 hours tommorow, but at least I gave it my best effort. If it wasn't for the fact I had to go to my parent's house tommorow, I probably could pull the 8 hours. I wouldn't enjoy it...but it would look and feel great to actually have 30 hours under my belt. Hell it's been a long time since I've had over 15.

Hopefully tommorow will go better. My BB/100 for the week is now 3.14PTBB/100. At least it'll be easy to improve upon

Kenny you are starting to sounds like me. After losing my heads up match, I wanted to lauch the computer. I decided punting the chair across the room would work better. I swear I dont know how you guys do it. The frusteration of playing for a real living would be enough to put me in a room with white padded walls, and a straight jacket. Hope you feel better in the morning.

Yeah sometimes I wonder how i put up with it too.

I enjoy gambling for a little bit of fun, maybe twice a year......so playing poker for a living is a HUGE extreme for me. The swings suck.

Why should I put more hours in when I'm satisfied with what I won?? ugh.....

It's amazing I'm still up for the week after the shit I took today.

Yeah well at least you didnt break the arm on your computer chair.

It has to be the worst thing abot poker. Knowing when you sit down that while most times you expect to win and sometimes you will have a small loss in an unproductive 2 hours there are going to be the days when it all goes wrong. It has to be the hardest thing to deal with, I know I have tilted off some dollars during these days.

Logically you know its the nature of the beast and in the same way everything can hit and you can make some big money, there will be days when everything you hit will be 2nd best and you will lose big money. I figure depending on magnitude I would expect one of these days maybe once a month if I am lucky though I play short sessions so I can easily (well should) get away from it when it goes to poo.

I guess the only reassurance is when you look at the hands and know it was the cards that had it in for you, not your game. If you can honestly say that then thats poker and the reason everyone doesn't do this as a 9-5 job.

Rich

I absolutely hate Friday and Saturday night play. I would rather skip those nights most of the time for better opportunities playing against only one guy chasing every gutshot instead of three. You would think three would be better, but the more yahoos, the more opportunity for variance, I think you practically have to be a nutpeddler on the weekends to beat the game.

I'm down two buy ins and when I cool off, I get to go back at it and see what happens. Dinner and some TV, let them drink so more and go back to the game.

I play too aggressively on weekends. It's something I need to adjust to better. There are just too many fish to steal small pots from.

Thursday, August 11, 2005


All is well
Current mood: amused

The end of last week was a very draining time for me poker wise. After putting in a good number of hours and only being up a little in ring games, it's very disappointing. At least the sitngos made up for a lot of it.

I love how poker always puts me in my place. No one has the right to be arrogant about poker. The best player in the world may not win for long streches time. Luck is not a constant, it's variable as hell. Sometimes it's a proper lady and stays with you throughout the whole evening. Other times she's a whore and gives herself to everyone but you.

The masters of poker lose less money when the cards run badly. That's the key. The masters still lose though, no one person can win every session. That's why you can never be arrogant about this game, your luck can always take a dive for the worst. Another reason I want to increase my bankroll so badly

Enough ranting about this complexities of luck in this game of skill and chance.

I played 4 sitngos on monday for about 2 hours. I place 1st, 4th, 1st and 5h. A great showing for about $600 profit. I'm now 10-13 cashing in 10 person $100 sitngos. lol..I'm ready for my downswing now!

I tried to play some more sitngos today, but no would join. I ended up 5-tabling 1/2 NL on prima. I started out very poorly. I chased a draw out of postion without proper odds (needless to say I didn't hit), and I got to aggressive with a suited ace.

I was very angry with myself about those two hands. They were rookie mistakes, and I can't afford that crap. I thought I was a professional??

The good thing is I ended up +$430 anyway. It wasn't an easy $430 either. It took about 4 hours with 2 ugly beats rearing their heads. Set of 7's against a stupid flush draw. Damn't.

I'm happy with the way things are going right now. I hope it stays this way.



Currently listening:
Live From Las Vegas
By Frank Sinatra

Very interesting read. This journal is far better than TightWads.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

wow, that sounds nice.