by kennyg » Fri Mar 24, 2006 4:32 am
Friday, March 24, 2006
I need to shut my damn mouth.
Current mood: uncomfortable
Why should anything be different this time? I act all confident and self-assured on my last post, then get owned on the next 3 sessions.
Most of it was ok. The first two sessions were just bad beats and bad luck, and I'm ok with that. It's called variance, it happens. However, the 3rd session was inexcusable as a poker professional. I went on tilt and lost a buyin (about $1k) on pure emotion. That made me real angry.. took me a couple of hours to get over it in fact.
I really need to work on emotional control. It's tough.
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Speaking of emotional control (I'm not sure which journal this should go in but) I felt I did horrible today in play practice. I can compare it easily to poker. It reminds me of when I first started out playing, and was playing too high limits and without much of a bankroll.
Everyone else on the play is stellar, and I refuse to be the weak link. But right now, I'm unsure what to do. The fact of the matter is, I'm just not all that naturally talented in acting. I'm starting to realize maybe I was more naturally blessed in poker then I thought.
Tommorow I plan to buy books at Barnes & Noble. Acting books must be available! Poker books helped me a lot when I first started playing. I remember when Cloutier's book opened my eyes to solid No-Limit strategy.
Nothing can subsitute for experience though, and I know that better then anyone. When I walk on the stage, trying to make my character, I feel completely lost. This is all a new world to me.
I want to be good, damnit. According to the director, at the moment I, punctuate too much, do not have nearly enough energy or emotion, my posture is horrible, etc etc.
I'm glad I still have a month of rehearsal. Perhaps I can pull it off by then; honestly I'm unsure. I will try my best. What more can I do?
I got completely drunk tonight because I don't know if I can pull this off. I'm worried.
"I'll take KennyGs advice before Sklanskys every time. "
-Iceman
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Poker Journal:
forum/viewtopic.php?p=14017#14017