Last try - an action junkies story.

[the_last_chance]

Hi!
I'm 18 years old - started playing hold'em one and a half year ago. After four weeks of play, I made the mistake of winning a freeroll and $250. The first impression is always very important and with a beginning like that, I could not stop. Unfortunately I lost most of it in just a week and I wasn't back at the cash tables until 6 months later.

During last year I have built up a bankroll three times - one time up to $4000, and every time has ended with a disaster. Either I start playing badly because I feel like the cards are going against me, or I go on "positive tilt" - I feel like I've won so much that I can afford to take a shot at higher stakes. Before I realize it I've lost all my winnings and is going down. Then desperation sets in and I try to get even (I think that is the worst thing a poker player can do).

So, the conclusion is that I've played quite seriously for one year and have not made much more than $0. If I knew I was a bad player it would not be hard for me to stop but this is what's so frustrating. I have stats showing that I'm a winner, over 10 000 hands, as high up as at NL $200. But that is when I DON'T tilt. And when I tilt I tilt a lot. Last time I played heads-up for my last money at NL $1000!! That just can't mean anything else than addiction.

I think it takes a lot of things in order to become a good poker player. A strength I do have is that I am realistic and know what I am doing right and what I am doing wrong.

I'm good at: concentrating, doing my best when playing, admitting mistakes, demanding an edge etc.
I'm bad at: self control, learning from mistakes (in a bigger context - money managent for example), depersonalizing conflicts etc.

Putting all these things together I think that I should probably not be playing. But on the other hand, I feel like I've put in so many hours into this that I don't want to give it up without one final try. If I loose my bankroll this time I have to forget poker and ask for a divorce. I will hopefully write here almost every day, even when I'm not playing.

My plan is to post hand histories, some philosophical thoughts and, of course, results. I do not have a clear cut goal right now but I will probably come up with one in the near future.

I will try to follow these rules:
1. No heads-up play EVER (I like the action too much and find that this is the hardest form of poker you can play - you really have to be emotionally stable).
2. Good money management. I will play NL 50 and go down to NL 20 if things start to get ugly.
3. Putting money away so I can't loose it all in one night.
4. Taking days off, preventing absorption into the creepy poker world.

I think that's it. Wish me luck!
By the way, English is not my mother tongue. I'm always trying to improve my skills in language, so feel free to point out errors.

[excession]

[the_last_chance]

[Zuccala]

If u are ALWAYS gonna tilt and never change. I think u should take up checkers. I think Stop-Loss is a great idea. You will have limited money in the account, but u will just keep filling it up.

[Juskimo]

First off welcome.

Second, I want to make one point absolutely clear: Any advice (even if it seems critical) you get here is meant to assist you in improving your game.

I really think you need to listen to the advice you are getting. Look at it this way.

If you said "I am a winning player, except that I always call when I have a flush draw and seem to lose money", you would be nuts not to take advice telling you not to call with flush draws unless you had the proper odds or whatever else people told you.

This is the same thing. If you choose not to listen, so be it.

I suspect your journal will turn into the tale of you building your bankroll and then blowing it over and over. Neteller is not much harder than clicking rebuy when you are steaming.

But its your money. We just want to make sure you keep it.

-Jus

[shobute]

[the_last_chance]

[Juskimo]

[the_last_chance]

[Juskimo]

[shamdonk]

props to juskimo on his posting. Listen to your elders boy!

[redhouse]

I've gone through 4 200BB+ downswings (limit BBs) as a result of steaming. And thats only since I got PT a year ago. Trust me, setting stop loss limits doesn't limit your wins.

Leaving the table also gives you time to reflect for a bit. I started a habit of spending that time going over the session in PT. Initially, it was just to record the bad beats so I could bitch about them, but it doesn't take very long before you come to see patterns. Maybe it happens when a guy outplays you and takes a pot down with K high. Maybe its suffering two beats from the same guy in quick succession. Maybe its a psychological thing when you're down 2 full buyins. Whatever it might be, once you see yourself disintegrating often enough, you also come to recognize it while you're in the process. I rarely go on tilt now, although I still respect my stop loss limits. But I do see the day when I won't have to without lying to myself.

Also, Jus said it best. The advice people post here is usually solid and its always with the intention of helping you. You should at least think it over carefully before deciding to ignore it.

[the_last_chance]

Todays results:

24 January 2006
6h
+$70
3 tables
NL 50 SH

- Gummer sitting in seat 1 with $47.45 [Dealer]
- Hamman12 sitting in seat 2 with $77.90
- NarQ sitting in seat 3 with $23.30
- Jorg199 sitting in seat 4 with $37.50
- essse sitting in seat 5 with $58.21
- me sitting in seat 6 with $50.00

Hamman12 posted the small blind - $0.25
NarQ posted the big blind - $0.50
** Dealing card to me: Queen of Clubs, Queen of Hearts
Jorg199 folded
essse raised - $2.00
me raised - $6.50
Gummer called - $6.50
Hamman12 folded
NarQ folded
essse called - $6.50

** Dealing the flop: 8 of Clubs, 4 of Hearts, 4 of Diamonds
essse checked
me bet - $15.00
Gummer called - $15.00
essse went all-in - $51.71
me went all-in - $28.50
Gummer went all-in - $25.95
Gummer shows: Ace of Clubs, Ace of Spades
essse shows: King of Clubs, King of Diamonds

** Dealing the turn: 7 of Clubs

** Dealing the river: King of Spades
essse wins $140.10 from the main pot
essse wins $145.20 from side pot 1

(Gummer is a calling station.)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

- gasfitter sitting in seat 1 with $30.56 [Dealer]
- lm1985 sitting in seat 2 with $61.12
- _TC_ sitting in seat 3 with $48.70
- Stojan76 sitting in seat 4 with $49.00
- mrvin111 sitting in seat 5 with $18.75
- me sitting in seat 6 with $56.20

lm1985 posted the small blind - $0.25
_TC_ posted the big blind - $0.50
** Dealing card to me: Ace of Diamonds, King of Hearts
Stojan76 folded
mrvin111 folded
me raised - $2.00
gasfitter called - $2.00
lm1985 raised - $8.25
_TC_ folded
me called - $8.25
gasfitter folded

** Dealing the flop: 10 of Clubs, 6 of Clubs, King of Spades
lm1985 checked
me checked

** Dealing the turn: 10 of Hearts
lm1985 bet - $10.50
me called - $10.50

** Dealing the river: 2 of Spades
lm1985 bet - $24.00
me folded
lm1985 mucks:
lm1985 wins $62.00 from the main pot

Last time lm1985 checked the flop being the pre flop raiser he later sprung to life and seemed to have good cards. Here I put him on AA/KK/AK

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

- mrmikkke sitting in seat 1 with $60.87
- noop sitting in seat 2 with $68.02
- Naily1 sitting in seat 3 with $25.23
- Caddy87 sitting in seat 4 with $77.75 [Dealer]
- nilsjo11 sitting in seat 5 with $70.20
- me sitting in seat 6 with $74.65

nilsjo11 posted the small blind - $0.25
me posted the big blind - $0.50
** Dealing card to me: 6 of Spades, 7 of Spades
mrmikkke folded
noop raised - $1.00
Naily1 folded
Caddy87 called - $1.00
nilsjo11 raised - $1.50
me called - $1.50
noop called - $1.50
Caddy87 called - $1.50

** Dealing the flop: 9 of Spades, 8 of Hearts, 3 of Clubs
nilsjo11 bet - $0.50
me called - $0.50
noop called - $0.50
Caddy87 folded

** Dealing the turn: 8 of Spades
nilsjo11 bet - $0.50
me raised - $7.00
noop folded
nilsjo11 called - $7.00

** Dealing the river: 2 of Hearts
nilsjo11 checked
me checked
me shows: 6 of Spades, 7 of Spades
nilsjo11 shows: 6 of Hearts, 6 of Diamonds
nilsjo11 wins $20.45 from the main pot

Enjoy!

[Xaston]

Stop losses are, in theory, pointless. However in practice they can be very helpful. Let's look at why they are theoretically speaking pointless.

1) The fact that you just lost 3 stacks due to bad cards has no bearing on your future cards. Stopping the session just because you've been running bad so far is silly, as you are just as likely to start running hot as you are to continue running bad.

2) Poker is about making money. The way you make money is by making bets with a positive expected value repeatedly. Having KK run into AA twice just now has no bearing on the likely EV of your future wave of cards.

In theory of course. In practice this is simply not true for several reasons.

1) When you're losing, people are more likely to take shots at you. When you're losing your continuation bets are going to get called and raised more. That's bad.

2) When you're losing you may go on tilt if you are a person. Going on tilt causes you to make -EV bets you wouldn't make if you were not on tilt. -EV bets are more often than not going to sink you deeper rather than turning your session around.


Having a stop loss may work to help in these regards. It depends greatly on how observant your opponents are (secondary influence, and probably negligible at $50 NL since most of those guys aren't paying attention) and what it takes to make you go on tilt. Some people need to lose X hands. Some people need to lose Y stacks. Some people need to lose Z dollars. If it's the last one a stop loss is perfect, you simply stop playing when you've lost Z dollars. If it's losing X hands you may have a problem, because it's very possible you will go on tilt way before your stop loss kicks in.

As Juskimo mentioned, I personally don't have a stop loss.

1) I consider myself to be an emotionally stable player (although lately I'm beginning to suspect I have more work to go in this aspect than I thought) so I think I'm generally still +EV in games even after dropping a tidy sum.

2) I'm not a TAG most of the time, I'm a LAG. In poker you make money most often when you are playing counter to what your image is. That is to say Dan Harrington's EV with AA is relatively low, since people give him so much credit for having a good hand. However because of this when he has a not so good hand and he is bluffing/semi-bluffing, he is very likely to get away with it (bluffing, being making a bet with a hand that in essence doesn't deserve to have much money in the pot, which is counter to what Dan's image is). On the other hand, Gus Hansen, who is considered a loose aggressive bluffer has a VERY high EV with AA, because frankly whenever he enters a pot people think he has rags. Conversely, when he is playing those rags (same as his image) he is less likely to get away with the bluff than Dan would, because people expect Gus to be bluffing with rags. As such a TAG loses more by losing than a LAG. A TAG that has just lost a significant amount of money is going to be percieved by his opponents as likely to be on tilt. He will now have a much lower EV on his bluffs than he did before, because people now think that he IS bluffing. A LAG that has just lost a decent chunk of change is again suspected to be on tilt, however this almost works to his advantage. As a LAG you will make a lot of money with your big hands because people never suspect you have them, and when they think you're on tilt (just make sure you really aren't) they give you even less credit. The amount of action a losing (not in the long term, EV sense, but in this given session) LAG gets is very significant and will often greatly increase the players EV if he keeps a level head.

[Xaston]

I feel kind of like Aisthesis.